Lies | ✔️

Chapter 22 | It Hurts

Chapter 22 | It Hurts

"I let you become my happiness, that's where I went wrong"-ig post

Listen to All In My Head (Flex) by Fifth Harmony✨

This chapter is dedicated to acediamonde for voting and following me😊

Thanks to AchristiA , this_is_her  for your constant support😊

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Tears slowly welled up in my eyes as I bit my lip.

"Just so you know..." Nicholas continued, lips quivering slightly as if deciding whether or not to continue his sentence. "I... I never really stopped liking you. Or even loving you. The reason I was cold and stuff, it's because bad things were happening at home and... And I didn't want to affect you... Or hurt you. That's why I avoided you..."

My ears perked as my heart thumped wildly against my chest. I felt hot tears welling up in my eyes. "You could have told me... We were best friends and... And you were my boyfriend... We shouldn't keep anything from each other, right?" My words came out slurred as I felt a lump in my throat form.

There was silence for a while before he finally spoke again. "I made stupid decisions in the past Em... I'm sorry..." Nicholas said softly as he looked down at the floor with sad eyes. "Anyway, I give you and Adam my blessings... He's a keeper. Last long..."

I looked at him with a confused expression on my face before he continued, "I noticed the tiny details you probably didn't... The way you guys look at each other. The way you guys behave around each other. And knowing you would never look or behave around me that same way? It sucks."

My heart flipped inside my chest as I avoided eye contact, digesting every word he said. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I tried to blink back the tears which were rapidly forming in my eyes.

"I know this is a mission and it has to be completed..." Nicholas continued as he glanced at me with a tinge of sadness. "Kill me Em... I won't blame you... Just promise me one thing."

I felt tears brimming again before they rolled down my cheeks, leaving a hot trail behind. I nodded, creating eye contact with Nicholas, making more tears stream down my cheeks.

"Promise me you will let go of this incident... This incident of killing me. I don't it to affect you. Best is..." Nicholas paused before continuing, "Best is you forget me, that way, it won't affect you in anyway."

My lips quivered slightly as I felt my body tremble. I used the back of my hand to wipe away the tears as I looked at Nicholas in the eye. I let silence settle in for a bit. Deep inside, I knew I will never forget him. I will remember the good side of him, I promised myself softly.

"Promise?" Nicholas said as he looked into my eyes with his reassuring ones, trying to hide the sadness within.

I paused for a while as I bit my lip. "Promise."

"I can't do it." I whispered, dropping the gun in my hand as I knelt down beside him, burying my face in my hands. "You have to Em." Nicholas pushed on. "If you don't, I can do it on my own..." I looked up as sadness stabbed in my heart. "But it would better if you would do it. For me."

Wiping away the tears, I nodded as I picked up the gun with trembling hands, blaming myself inside as more tears resurfaced. "I loved you too. I just wanted you to know..." I bit my lip as my body swayed slightly due to the overwhelming mixed emotions brimming within me.

Letting a final year roll down, I continued," I'm sorry..." Pulling the trigger with shaky hands, the loud bang filled my ears, making me drop the gun on the floor as the echo of the gunshot replayed in my ears, sending me falling on my knees as I sobbed, allowing tears to flow down...

After a few minutes, I opened my eyes slowly, only to see blood gushing out from Nicholas' chest, sending my heart sinking. He may have done all those stuff, but some pieces of my heart was still with him. Staggering towards him, I hugged him tightly as tears dripped down onto his blood-stained clothes.

Nicholas was dead.

Tears flowed down my cheeks as I squeezed him tighter, sobbing. Memories of our childhood together flooded my mind. Those happy feelings. I missed them.

I just stood there sobbing while Adam stood at a corner, giving me some space to let it all out. Wiping away my tears with the back of my hand, I slowly untied the ropes which were tied around Nicholas' hands.

I used my hands to swipe his eyelids downwards, allowing him to rest in peace. New tears formed as I tried to blink them away. I knew this would be my greatest regret. Killing my best friend. Killing my ex. What kind of person was I?

As I thought, the feeling of guilt stabbed again and again in my heart, making a pang of guilt slice across me. I closed my eyes as I breathed heavily, telling myself to calm down.

Quieting down, I slowly stood up and headed straight for the bathroom, avoiding Adam's gaze. Closing the door behind me, I placed my back on the door, as my body quivered. Sliding down slowly till I was sitting on the floor against the door, I buried my face in my knees.

I'm so sorry...

My brain keeps repeating, sending fear and shivers down my spine. I shut my eyes once more, controlling the never ending thoughts swirling in my mind. After what seemed like an eternity, I finally stood up and washed my face, glancing at myself in the mirror.

There was a girl who had puffy eyes from crying, face already red from sobbing. My lips were pursed into a straight line as my hands gripped tightly to the sink, trying to steady myself.

I took a deep breath as I washed my face under the running water, pouring the water furiously on my face. After I'm done, I took another deep breath as I walked out of the toilet, just to see a worried looking Adam standing outside.

My gaze slowly fell on Nicholas lying limply on the chair, sending tears forming in my eyes. Blinking them away, I knew this was gonna hurt for a long time to come. Perhaps weeks? Perhaps months? Perhaps years? I wasn't sure. All I know was that no matter when, no matter how long, there will be that aching sensation in my heart when I think of Nicholas.

His last words.

His character.

His heart.

Him.

***
😭😭This is so sad😭😭

I'm so sorry😢😢

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