Desolation Row (Frerard)

Part 5

When the door swung open, I fell back onto the floor, not being able to stand up. Gerard stood in the doorway, his shirt was soaked in sweat. He looked horrified and worried. I was covered in bruises, blood and tears. He was probably disgusted by the way I looked.

"Just leave me here." I cried to him. "I need to end all of the pain. Live your life without me. You're better off." I was on the floor holding my stomach, tears flowing out of my eyes.

Gerard finally processed what was happening and rushed over to me.

"Please just leave me here and let me finish." I tried to grab the razor from the floor, but as soon as I had it Gerard took it from me.

"Why are you doing this Frank?" He was now crying and holding my wrists, careful to avoid the slits.

"I need to end the pain Gerard! Can't you see that I am worthless? That I am not worth getting fired and going to jail for?" I looked him right in the eyes, waiting for a response. He was crying more than I was and he was hurt more than I expected. "I live in fear, knowing Jake can beat the shit out of me anytime be wants. And you know what? He did. Jake came to my house today, drunker than ever and beat me. He only used me for sex, then he got rid of me. Then there is my mom. She drinks till she knocks out. She drinks and tells me that I am usless and a fuck up. She sometimes hits me or throws bottles at me. No body loves me Gerard. No one does or ever will. I'm all alone and I'm tired of it." My words were coming out broken up from my crying. Tears were streaming down both of our faces.

Gerard looked angry and sad at the same time. I thought he was going to hit me and leave, or say that I was right. That I should just lay there and die. But instead he pushed me into his arms and held me. His face was smooshed into my head and his arms were wrapped around me, holding me tightly. I couldn't hold back my tears and let them flow free. Loud, ugly sobs were escaping my mouth as he stroked my hair and cooed.

"I love you Frank. From the day I started teaching you, I fell in love with you. Yes, I might loose my job and go to jail, but you are worth it. I love everything about you from the way you chew on your lip ring when you're nervous to your cute little laugh that makes me smile everytime. If anything were to happen to you, I would die myself. You mean the world to me Frank." Gerard took his hand and lifted my head so that I was looking at him. "I love you."

I wanted to say I love you back, but I couldn't. I don't want to give someone my love again and have them rip it up into pieces. Instead of saying anything, I just put my head to his chest and hugged him tighter.

I felt my vision start to blur, as I tried to breathe in for more air. I must have been breathing pretty heavily, because Gerard got up for the phone. I couldn't hear what he was saying, it was only mumbles. My body went limp as I was spread out on the floor.

"Frank stay with me please!" I could hear Gerard yell as he squeezed my hand.

The next thing I knew I was on a gurney being carried out to the ambulance.

"He's lost a lot of blood!" Someone said.

"Come on don't leave us now." Said another.

Blurry figures were around me, doing who knows what. They were the last people I could see before nothing at all.

^^^^Time Lapse^^^^

My eyes started to open, but shut tightly as bright light was shoved into them. I put my hand up to shield anymore from coming in.

"You're awake." I heard Gerard say, relieved, as he came over to me.

"Where am I?" My voice, lost and confused.

He looked down at me with an exaustsed expression. "You're in the hospital. Do you remember what happened?"

I looked around the room, then everything from last night came flooding back. Oh god, Gerard must feel like shit. Why did I have to get involved with him and put him through this? I nodded sheepishly.

Gerard slid into bed next to me and grabbed my hand. He looked at me and said, "Do you remember what I said?" He turned over so he was leaning on his side, his head resting on his hand.

I looked at him and nodded again. "Look I'm sorry I put you through this. It was selfish of me. I'm really, really sorry."

Gerard smiled and said,"It's okay. I'm sorry I couldn't see that you were in pain. I'm sorry I couldn't see anything that was going on. We will get through this together." He layed back down with his hands on his stomach.

"We?"

"Oh you thought I was going to let you go through this alone? I'm here to stay. And there is no getting rid of me."

I grinned when he said that. He really does love me. I'm not alone anymore. "Hey Gee?" I asked him. He turned his head.

"Yeah?"

"I love you too." I wrapped my arms around him. He held me back, as I fell asleep in his comforting grasp.

^^Time Lapse^^

"Frank, you need to get up." Gerard nugged me, but I just held him tighter, refusing to get off.

"Can't we just lay here?" I said, still half asleep.

"The nurse is here Frank. She needs to check on you." He started to pry of my arms, but I finally gave in and let him escape.

I sat myself up in my bed as the nurse came over to my bedside. "Your levels seem to be doing fine. You should be realesed from the hospital by today. Mr. Way could I speak to you outside for a minute?" The nurse went to the door, implying that it was an order and not a question.

"Sure." Gerard got up and turned to me. "Don't go anywhere." He said.

I stuck my tongue out at him. Jackass. I tried my best to listen to what they were saying, but it was impossible to even here a mumble. I stopped trying and just waited to ask Gerard.

He came back inside and shut the door behind him. "What did the nurse want?"

"Oh it was nothing." Gerard sat in one of the chairs along the wall next to my bed.

"Come on please tell me? Pretty please with a cherry on top?"

"Okay look. They asked me if I knew where your mother is and I said no. To release you from the hospital, she needs to sign your papers because you are underage. But since we don't know where she is, they are going to let me sign them." He finished his long speech and looked at me, waiting for a response.

I couldn't even look at him. I don't know where my mother is and she can't even be at the hospital to sign my release papers. Why does she have to be like this?

"Hey it's going to be alright." Gerard grabbed my hands with both of his and moved his chair closer to my bed.

"Can I stay at your place?" I asked, finally looking at him. "I want to come home knowing that I'm wanted, you know?"

"Of course. You can stay as long as you want. I'll drive you by your house when your released and help you pack."

My eyes filled up with tears of joy as I threw myself into a hug. I squeezed him tight as tears started to stream down my face."Thank you." I wispered into his ear.

While still in Gerard's grasp, the door swung open.

"Frank?"

Oh shit. It was my mom.