KABANATA 3 — Rude
Puno ng hinagpis ang libing ni Tatay Rene. May bandang tumutugtog nang marahan at malungkot na musika habang ang mga bisita ay tumatangis sa kaniyang paglisan.
Ang sasakyan namin ay nakasunod sa karo kung saan naroon si Tatay Rene. We were at the back of his family who were all walking under the sun. I asked my father if I could also walk with them but he refused. Pareho kaming nasa loob ng sasakyan, para na rin sa proteksyon naming dalawa. Although he also added more security to the area for the safety of everyone walking outside.
Dad fixed the collar of his white long sleeves.
I looked down at the clothes I chose to were. It was a black dress. I couldn't afford to wear a white dress. It was too hard for me because it would always remind me of the blood on the white dress that I wore when Tatay Rene was killed.
Maya-maya lang ay mararating na namin ang sementeryo.
"Dad..." I called him when he's done fixing himself.
"Hm, anak?"
I pursed my lips first, not sure if I should be saying what I was about to say. Then I decided that I needed to help with this one.
"Please make sure that Lev would accept your offer," I pleaded him.
Nagbago ang ekpresyon ng mukha ni daddy. Lumambot ang mga mata niya at may kislap doon ng tila lungkot.
"I heard him talking to his friend. He said he would send his brothers away. They would stay with their relatives while Lev and Lavina would be left here. Lev might stop college and work to earn money that could help them. Mahihirapan po silang lahat sa magiging desisyon niya," I explained, hoping that he would, again, convinced Lev later.
Bumuntong hininga si daddy. Ang lalim ng kaniyang iniisip base sa nakikita ko sa mga mata niya.
"I offered all the help I could give, Veign. But he's firm with his decisions. I will try my best to convince him again but, in the end, it's his family and his decision, Veign."
Napatango na lamang ako sa huli. Nanahimik na ako hanggang sa pasukin namin ang sementeryo. Kanina lang ay pinag-usapan namin ni daddy ang pagpapadala niya sa akin sa mga kamag-anak namin sa abroad. I could imagine how Froilan and Rio would feel once Lev told them about his decision. Siguradong malulungkot ang mga bata.
Ilang minute pa ay nakarating na kami sa lupang paglalagakan kay Tatay Rene. Ang lahat ng bisita ay tumungo sa kani-kanilang puwesto. Dad and I stayed behind Tatay Rene's children.
"In the name of the father..." simula ng pari sa maikling dasal na iaalay namin.
Nakalapag na ang kabaong sa aming harapan. Lev and his siblings were all in front, mourning for their loss. Kasama ng lahat ng kamag-anak at bisitang dumalo, nagdasal kaming lahat.
While the priest was speaking in front, I was silently crying. It was like my heart was going to explode. This was what I exactly felt when mom and Little Gio died. The only difference was that before, I was still a child. With simple things given to me by my father such as the materials and love, I was able to move on faster. But this time, it would be really hard for me. Hinding hindi ko ito makakalimutan.
One of our helpers in the mansion came with us and she was holding the roses that we would offer to Tatay Rene. It came from the rose plantation that my late mother owned. Isa isa niya kaming binigyan ng puting rosas. Then we all lined up to throw the rose into Tatay Rene's grave. We were all crying and sobbing. I even saw the tears fell from my father's eye.
