The Ultimate Sacrifice

crazy lady in white

The ceiling in my room was not just a plain white surface. It was working as a projector where I could see my life rewind. I could feel my breath getting heavier as if the oxygen concentration had significantly decreased. My heart beat was slowing and each beat was getting heavy. The memories I had with Nana and Richie replaying rapidly. You know that feeling when your entire life is going downhill and you want to stop it so bad but there is nothing you can do about it. Muscles in my body were tensing up. My entire body started twitching. My vision was getting blurry. What was happening? Was I getting a seizure or a worst case anxiety attack? I tried to relax but my breathing had completely stopped. I lay in my bed twitching like a fish out of the water. I wanted to shout for help but all I could do was let out a small whimper. This was going to be my end. I could see my vision black out as I prepared for the end but it stopped. My lungs slowly started circulating oxygen, my body stopped twitching uncontrollably. I took a few minutes before getting on my feet and thinking what had really happened? Tears started running down my eyes. Just the thought of loosing Nana and Richie almost got me a seizure. If anything were to happen to them I would die from stroke.

I never felt this helpless in my life. Two most important people in my life were getting snatched away from me and I couldn't do anything about it. I could feel loneliness wrapping a thick blanket around my mind and my heart. I have had heartaches before. When the boy I liked hadn't liked me back, when my mom once fell from the stairs and broke her leg. The feeling of heartache was abstract. There was a lot of sadness and loneliness but right now I could actually feel a sharp pain like someone had stabbed my heart. My head was getting heavy and buzzing. I was crying uncontrollably. Tears were streaming down and my snot and saliva running down my white night dress. I clutched the hem of my skimpy nightgown and cried. I let out all the fear, the sorrow, the pain out.

"You know what would have been better, if the wolf had eaten you!" My subconscious barked. She was true. It was a selfish thing to say but it was true. I would have been relieved from all this pain. I wouldn't have to see my grandmother or Richie get harmed. "You know what will be even better, if the wood you stabbed the wolf with stabbed you too." I hated to admit this but she was right. If I were to die tonight I would be spared of all the pain.

"But what about your plan to kill the devil?" a tiny voice in the back of my mind said. Was this my subconscious too? Wow, so the bitch has split personality. "You are never going to win the fight. Its either you kill yourself or get eaten." They said people did crazy things when they get struck with Grief. It was true. I felt this overwhelming feeling. My crying stopped and a small giggle escaped my lips. Now the giggle turned into laughter. I slowly got into my feet and stood in front of the mirror. All the crying had made my eyes, nose, and lips pink. My white, skimpy, silk night dress was stuck to my body. It left very less to imagination. I looked beautiful. I looked like a martyr.

A cold breeze displaced strands of my hair. I stared out my window. The night was beautiful. The stars were twinkling care freely. The bright moon was almost circular. Then I did something that will assure every proper human being that I was unstable. I sneaked out of my room in the middle of the night. You may say why is that weird? Teenagers do it all the time. True, this was not the first time I had sneak out but when I did I made sure it was day time and that I was using the tree so my limbs would still be intact. Not today, I jumped from the window. My room was on the second storey and I jumped. My landing was harsh but I didn't get hurt. I began running towards the forest I had my encounter with the wolf.

I reached the spot. My nerves were slowly cooling off. My brain began slowing down too and slowly my senses were surfacing up again. My heart was setting its normal pace. I was slowly getting normal again. I looked at my surrounding. It was just the way I remembered. The memory replayed in my head. How the wolf attacked me and how I stabbed it. I could have died and now it actually seemed sort of terrifying. Suddenly I zapped back into reality. What had I done? I was out in the forest in the middle of the night.  I could feel the blood drain away from me. What was I thinking? Oh wait, I wasn't thinking. I looked for the weapon I stabbed the wolf with. It helped me once. It might help me again. I looked around the ground for the carefully carved twig. It was almost as big as a stake. How it got there I will never know. Maybe the shadow had........ And after days my thoughts finally drifted to the human shadow I had seen that day. I suddenly felt self conscious.

I was dressed very inappropriately. The sweat made the thin material stick to my body. It wrapped me like it was my second skin. The white material was almost transparent. The sheer material and the night light illuminating my body. I felt naked and vulnerable. I let my loose locks fall to cover my now clearly visible breasts. I don't even know why I was so self conscious. It wasn't like anyone was going to see me. No one in their right mind would venture into these areas at the middle of the night but I still felt eyes on me. It was like someone was observing me. However, the twig was nowhere to be found. I decided that running back would be the perfect plan. I turned around to run back home when I saw the same human outline standing behind a tree and watching me.

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First of all, I would like to apologize everyone for the super late update. I am sorry! I just had a really rough week and my life right now feels like it is spiraling out of control but this does not mean I have forgotten about you guys or Elaine. i swear to get my shit under control and update frequently because writing this story makes me really happy. I do hope you guys liked the story. Don't forget to vote and comment. I love you guys, stay smiling........ xoxoxxoxox

-Lady Rush