I want this to end. This infinite torture, making me dance around misery, forcing me fall on my knees infront of anger. I hate that. I hated that helplessness, i came through and i don't want anyone to drag me inside it again. It hurts, it hurts so much, it doesn't hurt where it should, it hurts where it shouldn't. My brain us a mess, my heart is just fucking beating and doesn't know how to make it through that ocean of betrayals, false accusations, misinterpreted actions. I want to cry, but my vocal cords are paralyzed, my tears can make a thin film over my conjunctiva but are not enough to break the barrier and come out to lose themselves. I guess all that stuff made me realize how coward i am. But i guess that's okay i don't need to be brave, i don't need to selfless, i don't need to be understanding and helping. This is who i am. I am a human and like other humans, it hurts alot sometimes, so i cower in one corner and cry my heart out. But that's okay too. I deserve to breakdown every once in awhile. People need to know, i am not perfectly sympathetic obedient person. People need to know, just like everyone else i breakdown too, because there are moments in which i want someone strong to console me, someone to want the broken me, someone who kisses me on my forehead and whispers sweet nothings in my ears, someone who spoil me, make me feel i am yet not a monster or a coward. Someone who makes me feel humane and i guess wishing that isn't so bad at all.
