Dieber (a Donald trump and Justin bieber fic)

Chptr 1

Dear diary,
I, Donald Trump am gay. So gay I have rainbows shooting out of my ass.
It's not easy being such a dick to people, it's actually very hard. It takes a lot out of me and I have to keep flipping my hair over my head so it looks like a combover.
Oh and despite what Hillrary says, it's all 100% realsies.
Hillary slinton bullies me. She's a big bully. She says that my dick and hands are small.
My dick is an inch long which makes me sad. But I'll never tell Hillary that.

Obama is so popular. I hate him. He's black. I don't like black people. But the blacks love me.

I'm a hardcore-emo-grunge-tumblry/ flowered-crown-snapchat filter-kind- of-boy.

I love Justin Biever and Pete wents

I have to go, BYE

RAWR XXXXD

"Donald!" Mommy yells from
downstairs to me. "Come downstairs and eat breakfast! You need energy to bitch about the Mexicans all day!"

"OKAY GOSH MOM YOU DONT UNDERSTAND IM EMO TO THE EXTREMO AND I CANT EAT BECAUSE MY THIGHS MIGHT GET FAT!" I scream at her

"Donald, you're an asshole." She says to me, throwing a beer bottle at me. My mommy abuses me.

*insert tear here*

I grab my backpack that says "Mexicans" in a circle with a cross through it and put it over my shoulders.

I'm headed to racism/sexism academy.

I look at my schedule and notice that today I have an anti-feminism protest field trip today. Ugh it's so exhausting. Just take away women's rights already.

As I walk to school I see another emo. His name is Justin. He has blonde hair and sings like a lady angel. I thought Justin was a girl and when I found out he was a guy my crush didn't stop.
I'm gay.

But I hate gay people.

They're gross.

I flip my flippy hair and wiggle my Kim K ass like Beyoncé, hoping that Justin would notice.

He didn't.

He made a face and spit at me.

How rude!

I strut to class and sit down at my desk. My desk is bright pink and has daisies on the top of it. It's very tumblry.

I pulled out my phone and stalk Justin before class starts.

"FUCK" I cried out when I accidentally like one of his three year old photos.

Justin's POV:

I feel a vibration against my three hundred dollar ripped skinny jeans. I take out my phone and look at the picture of Hillary with the flower crown filter. I love Hillary. I want Hillary to love me.

She had a hot ass. That flabby old lady skin just turns me on during sex. It's sexy. She looks like shrek. Shrek is sexy too.

I go into tumblr and see that some guy named Tronald Dump liked one of my photos from three years ago.

Why is he stalking me.

I clicked on his profile and click on his five year old photo and like it.

There.

Now we're even.

I walk into class and pee on the teacher's chair before sitting down at my desk.

Today is going to be an emo day.