A Healed Heart. (A mans love book 1)

As things unfold (cont.)

Chapter 5

I felt my warm face and realized that it was morning. I sat up and remembered what had happened last night. I sat up and saw Ryan in the kitchen, making breakfast. I slowly got up and walked towards him in the kitchen. I snuck up behind him and whispered in his ear; "Did you have fun last night?" Ryan nearly jumped to the ceiling. "What the hell are you talking about?" He asked when he had calmed down. "Well, you woke me up in the middle of the night to join me in sleeping on the couch." I said, a smug look on my face. Ryan's eyes seemed evasive, and he turned around and face the pan he was making breakfast with. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I was a little drunk. It was an honest mistake." He said. I was hurt, I admit it, but I wasn't going to let him know that. Although it was mildly awkward, it felt good, and I wanted him to do it again. His heat felt so good against me. And it made me feel so good to have his breath hit my neck. "I'm going up to take a shower." I said gruffly as I put my finished plate in the sink and headed up to the bathroom. I stepped under the head and allowed the water to engulf me. It was scorching hot, but I forced myself to stand under it, as I felt it burned all of my suffering off and flushed it down the drain. It hurt me for him to say that everything that had happened last night was an accident. I knew I shouldn't have let my hopes get up too high. Now I was let down and I wasn't even sure that I liked him. I suppose I would just have to wait to make sure that these feelings were even present, let alone prominent.

After a few weeks of seeing Ryan around, and going places with him, I began to realize that I was .... Seemingly falling in love with him. Its seemed like a crazy absurd thought to even entertain, but I knew that there was no denying it. I was falling in love with Ryan. I had known him for about three months. And every time I was invited over to his home, I felt ....... different, like a sudden weight had lifted every time he was around. Even when his mother was around, I ignored her like the ignorant woman she is, and I focused my attention on Ryan. Which was not hard to do, considering the fact that I could feel him staring at me all the time. Sometimes, if I was lucky, he would unintentionally clutch my arm, and I would stare at him before he let go and evaded my gaze. One time, I decided that I wanted to see him again, so I called him. He told me he was doing some homework for school, but when I told him I could help him, he sighed and told me I could come over. I caught the bus and rode over to his home. I hopped off and walked the few feet to his home. He wasn't outside to greet me like he normally was. But he had left the door unlocked. I walked in, and I heard music playing from upstairs. I called out his name, but he didn't respond. I went up that stairs very cautiously, just in case something was amiss. I heard the music coming from Ryan's room, and I stood outside the door for a minute. I knocked, and there was no response, so I gently pushed the door aside. When I entered, I saw Ryan lying on his bed, with a girl on top of him, smothering his face with kisses. When Ryan heard the door slam, he shot up, and so did the girl. "Anthony?" Ryan said. "Who's this?" The girl asked. "Is he a friend." The shocked expression on my face was replaced by a look of anger and disgust. "Was his friend." I seethed through my teeth before storming out. "Anthony!" Ryan called, but I didn't even hear him, I had already flown out the house, slamming the door behind me. I stood at the end of the driveway, and allowed the tears to come to my eyes. A flurry of emotions came at me all at once, and I felt a huge wave of dizziness wash over me as I struggled to keep myself from throwing up. I was wrong, he really was straight. I shook my head in disgust at my own ignorance. I was honestly stupid enough to think that him and I would ever be together. After he told me he wasn't gay. I sighed, and wiped the tears from my eyes. I was about to look back, but I shook my head and continued walking to the Bus Stop. I walked about a two solid miles to the bus stop, but for me it felt like three feet. It was less than a thirty second wait before the bus screeched to a halt in front of me. I slumped into a seat and continued on trying not to throw up. I was so dizzy and nauseous, I was hurt, and beyond infuriated. I honestly couldn't believe he had called me over just so I could see him make out with some skank. But, that just goes to show that people cannot be trusted in this world. When I got home, I sat down on my porch, and continued to cry. I honestly couldn't understand his reasoning behind what he did and why he did it. But honestly, it didn't matter anymore. He didn't matter to me anymore. Because he's made it clear that he wasn't interested. I got up and looked at my phone, I saw that I had about ten missed calls from Ryan. I wasn't planning on calling him back. And I saw that I had about twelve messages from Ryan saying that he needs to see me. I texted him back and told him to fuck off.