A Healed Heart. (A mans love book 1)

Doubtful moments (cont.)

Chapter 10

Today was my birthday, and I was turning eighteen. I had gotten plenty of gifts from my friends, and some from my family, but I was waiting for Ryan to call or drop by. Around 5:00, I started getting anxious, and around 6:30, Ryan had called me. "Happy birthday baby!" He said. "Oh, baby, I thought you had forgotten me!" I asked. "Never" Ryan chuckled, "My mom is making me get and apartment, and I was moving in. That and I was busy getting your gift, which took forever." I smiled. "Do you want to come over?" I asked. "Actually, I wanted you to see my new home." Ryan said. "Okay, I'll be over." I said before we said our goodbyes and hung up.

I got off the bus and walked the 100 feet to Ryan's new apartment. Ryan had told me to meet him in front of complex 1A. He was waiting for me on the steps of the complex. "Baby!" I yelled as he jumped up and engulfed me in a bear-hug. He pressed me against someone's car and passionately kissed me. I held him unto me as we kissed. When we parted, he led me into his apartment room and showed me around before sitting on the couch with a small box. "What's that?" I asked. "It's your gift baby." Ryan said as he stood up, and had me stand up. He turned me around, where I faced a big mirror that was leaning against the wall. He opened the box and I saw a beautiful golden necklace that had a cross on it. He placed it around my neck, and I took a good long look at it. It was so beautiful, and I loved Ryan for this gift. Ryan then took something else out of the box, and took my hand. It was a ring, a beautiful ring with R&D engraved on it. The ring itself was gold, and the letters were engraved in silver. It was gorgeous. "Do you like them?" Ryan asked. I turned around and looked at him. "I love them." I said. "It's perfect." "You're perfect." He said as he began unbuttoning my shirt. I smiled as he kissed me. "Happy Birthday baby." Ryan said as he began to kiss my body. I held him unto me as he kissed me. "I love you Anthony." He said as he reached down and began to undo my belt. I held his hand. "Wait." I said. "What is it?" Ryan asked. "I just.... I want to do this right." I said, kind of nervous. I wanted to have sex with Ryan, but I just, wasn't sure if I was ready. I was comfortable with him sleeping with me, but I wasn't sure if I was ready to be with him like that yet. Ryan smiled at me. "It's okay." He said. "If you're not ready, then that's okay with me. I smiled before I said; "Thank you." .............

(Two weeks later)

Ryan and I had decided to meet for dinner again, and we decided to meet at McCormick and Shmicks. I was sitting in the waiting booth, when I saw Ryan enter the restaurant. He looked very beautiful, and I was taken back by how nice he looked. "Hey Ryan." I said casually. "Hello Anthony." He said. He seemed like something was bothering him. "Is something wrong?" I asked, genuinely concerned. "Nothing's wrong." Ryan said. I looked at him with concern and we went to our table. During dinner, I noticed how every time I tried to touch Ryan, he would seem evasive, like he was still afraid, and he barely spoke. After we ate dinner, I looked at him. "Something is bothering you." I said. Ryan looked at me before he said; "My brother died." I was taken back. "What!?" I asked. I saw tears fill Ryan's eyes. "My brother was an undercover I.A.B investigator, and he was sent to catch some drug dealers that were attempting to make a deal with the Police. They must have found out who he was, because the Medical Examiner ruled his death as an K.I.A, he had been killed in a gunfight." Then Ryan began to sob. "I never really knew him, but when my cousin called me last night and told me that Sean had been killed, it just came to hit me like a tsunami." I paid the bill and ushered Ryan outside to a gazebo, where we sat down and continued to talk. "Ryan, it's okay, I promise you." I said as he continued to sob on my shoulder. "I'm so sorry Anthony." He said. "I'm sorry I ruined our dinner." "It's okay." I said. I saw Ryan look at me, and I tried to kiss him before he remembered that he wasn't open. I pulled back, and he placed my hands around his neck before he kissed me. "You-you kissed me." I said in disbelief. He smiled at me. "Because I love you, and nobody will ever make me change the way I feel." Ryan said as he smiled, and then I heard his tone become deeper, and I saw a dark look creep into his eyes, it seemed, lustful. "Do you want to come to my place?" Ryan asked. I smiled in excitement and anticipation as I felt my cheeks heat up. "Of course." I said...