A Healed Heart. (A mans love book 1)

Old sins cast long shadows (cont.)

Chapter 18

My eyes fluttered open, and I saw Ryan standing above me, getting dressed. He was putting on his least formal clothes without going into business casual. "What's the occasion baby?" I asked. "I have to go to court." Ryan said. "Why didn't you tell me?" I asked. I looked at the clock and saw that it was 2:30 in the afternoon. "Because I knew you were going to insist that you come with me." Ryan said. I sat up in the bed and gave him a look of confusion. "I thought you wanted me to accompany you, so you wouldn't have to face her alone." "I did, but, after what happened to you, I just, wasn't sure if that was the best thing to do." I looked at him as though he was unintelligent for saying that. "Ryan, you are my boyfriend, I will not sit around and allow you to face the same woman that tried to rape you and shot me. What will I be if I know how much this affects you and I just stay here?" Ryan sighed before he nodded his head in understanding. I got out of bed and pulled out some clothes from the closet before throwing them on. "When do we need to be there?" I asked. "One of the officers is coming by to pick me, well, us up since a bus ride would take too long." Okay, I said, and that's when I heard sobbing. I turned to face Ryan and I saw tears streaming down his face. I walked over to him, and I lifted his head to face me. "It's going to be okay." I said as I gently brushed the tears from his eyes. Ryan gently kissed my palm. "Is it?" He asked with heavy skepticism laced in his words. "Yes, it will, because I believe that you are strong enough to pull through this, and I will be here, supporting you all the way, every time you fall, I will be here to pull you up, I will be here through everything. Because I live with you, I love you, and I am your boyfriend." Ryan smiled a little, and I felt my heart soar at his small smile. I pulled him closer and pressed my lips against him, ignoring the salty taste in my mouth. Ryan held my head and when we parted I helped him to put on his sport jacket. "I never did like wearing this thing." Ryan said, allowing a small smile and a soft laugh to come out. I smiled back and led Ryan to the bathroom, where we washed his face and combed his hair. I was gently wetting his hair so I would have an easier time combing it. Ryan pressed himself against me as I leaned forward to comb the front of his head. I leaned forward further and whispered in his ear; "Promise me there will be no more tears." Ryan smiled, and I saw him blush in the reflection of the mirror. "I promise baby." He said as I combed the last bit of tangled hair and gently kissed his head. I adjusted his suit jacket and fixed his pants. "You look perfect." I said at last. "You are perfect." Ryan said as he grabbed my hips and yanked me into his lips, where he aggressively attacked them with his mouth. He tasted so good in my mouth, and I felt myself getting aroused again. I guess Ryan must have felt me poking against him, because he pulled back and looked down. I looked down as well, and saw the tent that had been pitched between us. I quickly spun around in embarrassment. Ryan smiled before suggesting that I get dressed so we wouldn't be late.

(Ryan)

"Docket number ending in 732677 people versus Diana Freedle, one account of attempted rape in the first degree, one account of assault in the first degree, and one account of attempted murder in the second degree. Judge Joseph James peered at my mother through his glasses before he stated; "Nice trifecta, how do you plead?" Mother immediately answered, and it almost made me shout if Anthony hadn't been gripping my hand. "Not guilty on all charges your honor." Her attorney looked at her before he officially stated that she was pleading not guilty. "People on bail." The judge asked, not seeming to care one way or another. "The people request remand due to the fact that the defendant has, on multiple occasions, assaulted her son, and his ....... domestic partner." The D.A said, seeming to tread lightly on the subject that Anthony and I were gay and dating. The judge nodded as if he understood, and turned to the defense to see if they had any objections. "Your honor, I would like to say something." I heard my mother rasp. The judge raised his eyes in curiosity, and after trading a look with her attorney, nodded his head for her to proceed. "Your honor, this entire case is a sham, my son has been assaulting me, disrespecting me, and refusing to be home on time for the past several months. I removed him from my home in hope that he would learn that he needs me, even though he may not like me, but still, he needs to understand that I am the parent, and that I have a moral obligation to protect him as his mother." I snorted at that, and Anthony pinched me as all of the courts occupants turned to face me due to my outburst. After a second of extreme embarrassment, that judge looked back at the D.A and mother. "Your honor, the officers came into the house to see the defendant on the floor, unconscious after her son had to subdue her with a lamp due to the fact that she had already shot his partner and was about to fire again with intent to kill him. The ballistics had clearly linked the gun found with the defendant with the bullet found in the victims left shoulder. Mother smirked at this before she interrupted the D.A with her objection. "So I guess you weren't aware that my son had shot his boyfriend in an attempt to shoot me. And when he realized he had missed, he picked up the lamp and hit me in my temple, which you can see right here." She lifted her hair that she had styled to hang over the wound where I had hit her. She had a bandage over it, but there was still a lot of blood that needed to be removed. The judge looked at the D.A, who was obviously unprepared for mother to make such a far-fetched accusation. "Your honor..." "I've heard enough." The judge said as he closed the portfolio he was looking at. "You have not proven to me without a doubt that you are not responsible for these events at all, however, it does not seem to me that you are a grave immediate threat for the time being. With that being said, I'm allowing the defendant to be released unto her own recognizance as long as she can attest to the promise that she will show up in court on the allotted date and time. My mother allowed a huge smile to come to her face. "I will be here your honor." She said. "Make sure you are Miss. Freedle, I'd hate to have to strike you with contempt."

I flew into the nearest bathroom stall and slid to my knees on the floor. I allowed the tears to freely flow. I should've seen this coming, I should've known that she was going to sweet talk her way out of going to jail, just like she does everything. I wanted to walk out of here, and I wanted to kill her right now. I reached down and felt the rough metallic bulge in my jacket I could feel the rough bumps of the grooves, the chamber, the handgrip, the safety, and eventually, the muzzle. I sighed and pulled it out. A small revolver, with one bullet in the chamber lay in my hand. I had already planned out what I was going to do, and I opened the chamber and saw the one bullet. I spun the chamber before I held it to my head. I was breathing heavily, and I was shaking uncontrollably. I pressed the gun harder against my temple as if I could erase this throbbing headache that had now appeared. I knew why I came here, I knew why mom had been set free, it all came to this, to this moment where I die. I tightened my grip on the gun, and pulled the trigger....

In a weird way, the click was as loud as the exploding gun should have been. I immediately thought of Anthony as I pulled the trigger. That's because there was an explosion, but it didn't come from my weapon, it came from outside the restroom. I dropped the gun and ignored the clatter as I ran out of the restroom. I came out to see my mother in a pool of blood. She had taken a bullet to the left shoulder, and she was gasping for air. An attorney and a court official were trying to keep pressure on her wound. I stood frozen in the doorway of the restroom, and I realized what I had planned to do. What I was insistent on doing. I was going to shoot my mother. I almost dropped the gun because my palms were so sweaty, but I tightened my grip and almost ran out of the building. I looked for Anthony, and I saw him standing near a cab, paying the driver. "Anthony." I gasped. Anthony turned around and I fell into his arms as I felt my heart begin to pump faster, and I heard myself wheezing. I couldn't breathe, and I felt hot tears streaming down my face. Anthony helped me inside the cab, and I leaned against his shoulder as I stuttered my words out. "She- She's been shot, someone shot her. He nodded his head as he stroked my head in an attempt to calm me down. He continued shushing me as I felt my heart return to its normal pace, and my breathing return. I suddenly realized how exhausted I was, and I slipped into unconsciousness.

I woke up in my bed, with Anthony next to me. He was asleep, and he had stripped both him and I to our underwear. I felt a cool air hit my chest, and I realized he had opened a window. I felt so comfortable, and I felt myself drifting off to sleep before I remembered something, where's the gun? I slowly climbed out of bed so not to disturb Anthony, and I checked my pants pockets, I pulled out the gun which had a sinister gleam in the moonlight. I was tempted to toss it out of the window, but I decided to put it in a more unrecognizable location. I walked outside and looked at the gun for a second before throwing it into the dumpster. I felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I walked back to the motel room and gently climbed back into bed. I knew that if Anthony found out I had been planning to kill my mother, he would leave. I could never tell him, because I knew what would happen. I loved him too much to tell him that I was planning on murdering someone, and possibly bring him down with me. It would destroy everything I wanted, and all I wanted was him. To come home to him, to wake up beside him, to feel him next to me as I went to sleep. I loved him so much it was insane almost. The thought of not being with him rendered me unable to breath on numerous occasions. Just the thought of losing him, of seeing him with someone else, it made me want to cry. I've never had this much possessiveness over someone before. It was an odd feeling, but I knew that it was because of the man I'm lying next to this very second. I smiled as I felt Anthony turn in his sleep and face me. His breath flowed from his mouth unto my face as I pulled him closer and kissed his forehead before I rested my head to fall asleep...