Her

Darkness

I feel asleep after Michael started to cuddle into me. It was lol just sounds of snoring and Molly giggling. I feel into my sleep like a baby falls into a mothers cradling arms. I looked ahead at the roaring crowd. The crowd looking back at me. This last night was the night for the end of rock out with your socks out tour. And I seen her. Molly. She looked at me and I looked at her, she had my full attention as she smiled and drifted through the crowd. My drums stopped, just like my heart. As my band looked at me, I ran, through the crowd and to her. I couldn't catch her though. Not at all.. it is like a never ending hallway of nature between me and her. I felt a little tight around the chest. Stopping to catch my breath.

She whispered " wow up Ashton, see the beauty"
As a butterfly pasted my view. Before my eyes, it opened its wings. Hrs beautiful wings, it was a monarch. It's colouring was so bright. Like all the black butterflies drawn on my fans arms, for the sake of self harm, beauty lays under the be holder of the blade.
The butterfly flew away.
Molly stood in front of me. Holding out her hand. I heard snoring. And something clashing bars. Making a musical sound, but a cold, unwelcoming present standing behind her making me frozen to the touch. My mind was drifting and I felt my body in my dream, But couldn't move to save her life. I tried screaming. Everything was beautiful.. now turned to grey, a darken soul  approached my dream land. And I watched. I watched as my world crashed down.

The unwanted darkness pulling her away.  Pushing against all gravity as it pulled me back. And the butterfly it flew back. It flew between us. She reached for it. That's when I seen, I seen every hurtful word, every stab in the back, every empty promise, everything. Written in blood across her arms.

"ASHTON "

I tried screaming. I couldn't. I could only watch, held against my will power, as she was dragged away into the crowd.
I looked from behind my drums.
I didn't see her but I heard barking.
Barking like it we right in front of me.

"ASH ASH ASH ASHTON WAKE UP "

I was getting shakes. My body was twitching. I woke up. In fear. In anger. In lost emotion and looked at Michael's hands. And then a bunch of licks...

I looked at the puppy. We helped. Calum was at the end if my bunk and Michael was all giggles and pure happiness.

"Ashton  it's 9am. We let you sleep in for a little bit and at that time the vets called and they said the puppy was fine , no major surgeries, just had the broken paw... look look it loves you "

I looked at him. His little nose and bumped up paw, the cone around his neck was super cute but they usually keep them for a day.. I looked at Michael and calum.

"What about the-"

."he went under last night and woke up around 4am. They said he was doing fine and we could pick him up at 7. So we did. How was your sleep ?"

Molly looked at me and smiled.
I looked at the puppy and her , Michael and calum, Luke banging on the side of his bunk. That sound.. it must have been Luke.. in my dreams. But that darkness. WTF was that, I never had something like that happen to me, until now. I looked from my thumbs and fingers fidgeting around to them.

They looked at me , and then my fingers and thumbs
I totally forgot they were looking at me . Shit

"Um it was okay"

I looked at Molly . Did she cut ?

..

.... or my worst fear. Is she cutting ?