Dearest Evelyn

-chapter 21-

He led Lance to the top of our hill, and I dismounted to stand next to him. The snow had thinned a bit. It was quiet, like always atop our hill, and I stood next to him, pressing my shoulder to his for extra warmth.

Lance snorted, and then fell silent, wondering why I had already dismounted after such a short period of time. I patted his rump lightly.

Hector wrapped an arm around my shoulders and I couldn’t help but think of the very words my mother had said to me. I couldn’t . . . I just couldn’t rip Hector away from me. Perhaps the marriage with Gwindire could just be a political thing . . . a lot of women did that. Secretly of course. But mother had once told me few women married for love. I think the number was bigger than she expressed, and I wasn’t going to be one of them . . . too bad Gwin was my best friend, so there was already an amount of love for him.

If I had known all along . . . who would my heart have chosen? I think I probably would have avoided all three of them, to avoid trouble.

But now that I had my chance, I needed to talk Hector into forgiving Terrin. If all else failed, I would not let my boys fall apart. I had to keep everyone together. It was going to be hardest with Hector. It might be easiest with Gwin; he was getting the better deal of everything. With Terrin, I wasn’t so sure. I knew he was happy to be marrying Joanna, but that didn’t necessarily mean that he would forgive Hector and vice versa.

This could go on forever if I didn’t interfere. But of course, Hector had to take me away in the midst of my attempts to settle everything. Even if I had to yell at Joanna first. But then again, I was rather happy he distracted me. I might’ve said something I’d regret. I couldn’t lose Joanna’s friendship.

I sighed. His grip tightened, and against my will of ‘being mad at him’, I leaned my head back onto his chest. I felt his lips brush against my hair. For now, it was nice. It was something I didn’t have to worry about. I could just focus on us, these last few moments before I’d have to break everything with him.

“Hector,” I finally spoke, and my voice was weak and cracking to how strong I wanted to sound. “You know it’s inevitable, but we . . . can’t remain like this . . . .”

I felt him shrug.

“I don’t want it to end, but I’ve made a mistake that is . . . beyond repair.” I couldn’t believe I was still calling the engagement a mistake. Maybe I was just trying to suite Hector, or maybe I was trying to fight against Gwindire.

“You know, Terrin is a player. You aren’t the first girl he’s chased.” He suddenly said, completely irrelevant to the subject I was trying to point out.

“Focus, please.”

“I am, let me get to my point.” He gave me a look.

I pursed my lips and waited patiently.

“Now I’m wondering if he used you. I knew he had something in for Joanna. And if I knew he was after you too, I would’ve warned you.” He shrugged again. “I guess I don’t have to worry about it anymore.”

“You’ll forgive him?!” my hopes immediately brightened.

He shot them down with a stern look. “No. That bastard is running amuck and you nearly got caught up in it.”

“What if it was just like you and me?”

He gave me a questioning look.

“What if he knew his uncle was marrying him to his new daughter? And he was only trying to spend last moments with me before he was locked to Joanna?”

“Men like him play folly, Evelyn. That’s what he was running to you about the day I punched him. He knew then he was to be married. Gwindire told me so. He’s bedded a few girls before you, be glad you weren’t just another one on his list.”