Dearest Evelyn

-chapter 23-

I had asked that question before, and as normal I got a cold glare.

“It matters because you’re my fiancé.” How many times was he going to say that? “And honestly . . . it hurt to hear you say that to another.”

Really?!

Being stubborn, I didn’t respond, not wanting to flatten his jealousy. But his sudden closeness was all it took to intimidate me into further silence. His lovely smell drifted to my nose, and that was all it took to calm me to listen to him. I couldn’t keep going back and forth like this; it just wasn’t worth it. I’d have to bite my tongue and marry Gwindire.

Screw the laws, I was going to keep Hector no matter what. But then I remembered the Ten Commandments. I couldn’t do that. I held too true to my faith. I couldn’t have Hector as a lover even if I wanted to.

“I’m tired of this folly.” He sighed deeply. How dare I upset this cherub. Who was I to disturb his perfect peace? I reached up out of impulse and of sheer accident. I just wanted to see . . . no, I quickly drew my hand back.

He observed this, then took the hand I withdrew. He brought it up to his cheek, just like I had intended. I didn’t flinch as my fingers touched his skin. He was warm. The touch sent lost memories flooding throughout my brain. Oh, there was so much I had forgotten. All the days we had spent, all the days he looked after me and bid me a good night.

 A silent tear slipped down my cheek without warning. I closed my eyes tight. I felt his tender embrace. But his embrace was different for me. I felt I could cry freely into it. I sobbed. He stroked my hair softly, his other hand upon my back as we sat on the edge of my bed.

He held me tightly as I let everything loose. I couldn’t believe Gwin was able to bring out my vulnerability in the way Hector had not. It was confusing me beyond my limits. I was ready to give up and quit, leave this place and find some village to live in.

“Evelyn,” he spoke, his voice was pained. “Did you really . . . did you really mean to offer yourself to him so freely?”

Of course his thoughts would be on that.

“No.” I shook my head. “It was impulse. I was just trying to find a way to—“

I stopped myself. I couldn’t hurt him while he was holding me. It just wasn’t right.

“Find a way out of our marriage.” He finished for me, sighing mournfully.

I swallowed, not answering.

“Evelyn, come with me to Andree’s River. There’s something I want to say to you there.” He slowly stood up, his arms still protectively around me.

I looked up at him. “Why can’t you say it here?”

He shook his head. “It has to be somewhere special.”

~

When we got down to our usual spot, he helped me off Lance. He let him and Umbriver graze at the small patches of clover sticking up from the melting snow.

He took a dense blanket from off the saddle bag and laid it out next to the river in our usual spot. I sat next to him as he took my hand in his.

“Honestly, I was saving this for Christmas, but I’ve found that I’ve run out of patience.” He grinned to himself, and I could only guess what he meant. “Eve, I know I’ve told you before plenty of times, but I’m going to say it again. I’m excited for our marriage, and there’s nothing more that I’d love than to have you as my wife.”

I listened patiently, staring into those beautiful hazel eyes of his. A small smile tugged at his lips as he watched me giving him my full attention.