Dearest Evelyn

-chapter 32-

Gwindire told me that Hector had let it slip to him that the girl he knew that started the whole “Joanna is a witch” ordeal was gone. She had disappeared, it seemed, and I wanted to scream in frustration.

Hector wasn’t speaking to me or Terrin; Terrin wasn’t speaking to his wife or Hector.

We rode separately and in silence out towards our encampment. Already the men were being sent back out to the field, and I was right alongside them, as I had promised. Gwin even helped me pack for it.

Joanna and her mother had disappeared only a few days earlier- and without a word to anyone, not even me or my mother. The King, in deep depression, stayed back at the castle as Gwin’s father led us through to get to the encampment.

“Come with me, Joanna,” I pleaded. “They won’t look for you on the field.”

I took both her hands, pleading will all my might. I knew the answer before I even asked. I had to ask.

She looked at me with sympathetic, kind eyes, and I could see in the light of fading glory the regal beauty she possessed- with her kind heart and true, gentle spirit. Her regality was stunning- even in the dark hour she was now riding with her life. It was . . . tragic.

She shook her head gently, a small smile at her lips. “I can’t, Eve. I’m royalty now . . . I must stay . . . .”

It was the last I had seen of her; the last I had spoken of her.

I pushed it to the back of my mind. I couldn’t let emotions play with me right now. I needed to focus.

I rode with my identity hidden- although not as carefully, considering the king was not amongst us this time. I was in-between Gwindire and Terrin- and neither spoke gruffly more than was necessary. I knew Terrin was against me going to camp with them- arguing that Gwindire’s lust would only distract him.

Gwindire had only rolled his eyes- and I didn’t add to the fact that Gwindire wouldn’t bed me in the middle of the damn camp. I didn’t want to add to Terrin’s foul mood, so I kept quiet. Didn’t he understand how modest Gwin was?

I took off my cloak once I realized every man knew I was amongst them. They still knew me as Evelyn Dolotov- the stubborn little girl that played in the dirt and fought with boys- not the mature, worried woman trying to juggle the fragile pieces of her life.

I occasionally scanned for Hector every other hour as we continued the day-long ride out towards the camp. He rode a few yards ahead of us, not looking or acknowledging us. I tried to ignore my jealous anger. Deep down, I knew I still loved Hector greatly. Sometimes I wondered if I would’ve fallen under his seduction if I hadn’t have been engaged to Gwin . . . .

Out of impulse, I urged Lance forward until I was by Hector’s side. Neither Terrin or Gwindire protested. Gwindire had been hinting for me to check up on him anyways. I immediately hated myself for this, but I knew my heart was in the right place. Whether he betrayed me or not- it didn’t matter now. Joanna was missing and we were in the midst of war.

He looked at me once out of the corner of his eye, and then stared straight ahead, unspeaking.

A deep silence passed us before I could even think of something to say.

I opened my mouth- but he beat me to it- making me wonder if he waited for me to speak just to jump in first. It seemed like something he’d do.

“How’s Gwindire?” he asked, a question I hadn’t expected, since he and Gwindire had nothing against each other. He seemed to have gotten over my marriage fairly quickly. I knew he still loved me.