His Exception (Ongoing)

yours

yours

Cassandra

"Saan ka nag punta? I was worried sick! I told you to wait for me pero nawala ka." Is the first thing he told me when I got home.

He packed his things already. I don't know what to say.

"You missed your meds." He looked so dissapointed. I felt so bad. "Kailangan mo uminom agad, were still on the process Cass. We can't take any for granted. We can't risk the progress we made now,"

"I'm sorry." Is the only thing I can tell him.

Itinabi nito ang mga maleta at lumapit sakin. Bumuntong hininga ito, "We need to talk. I.. have something important to tell you,"

"You're leaving?" I felt like crying. No, not this again.

"Hindi naman sa ganon Cass,"

I can't go through this again. Iyak ako ng iyak. Eto nanaman, pati ba naman si Gino gusto akong iwan? Lahat nalang ba?

"We have an appointment today. Iintayin nalang kita sa kotche."

"I don't want to go! Kung may sasabihin ka bakit di pa ngayon!" Tumataas ang boses ko, alam kong bawal ma stress pero hindi ko mapigilang magalit.

"Cass, I'm sorry.." His voice is soft. Mas lalo akong naiyak. Ako tong nawala at umalis, ako yung mali pero siya yung nang hihingi ng sorry sakin.

He left me to get ready. I'm still crying. The thought of him leaving me here gives me familiar ache. I didn't realise sooner. Masyado akong dumipende kay Gino and it's not healthy. He's been by my side all this year, all this time sarili ko lang iniisip ko. I hadn't realise that he give up too much for me. Hindi ko naisip na may sarili rin siyang buhay.. I'm too selfish. Parang bumalik ako sa umpisa, lahat ng progress ko sa theraphy nawala. Bigla parang nakalimutan ko pano papakalmahin yung sarili ko.

I soak my self with a cold bath. The shower of water wipe away my tears.

I'm no longer sick that's why he needs to move forward too. Hindi naman habang buhay kailangan niya akong alagaan.

...

I look awful.

I wear the darkest shades I could find to hide my eyes.

"Were here," He told me.

Hindi ko napansing naka rating na kami sa ospital para ipa check-up ako ulit. I am so absent minded I have no energy to deal with any of this.

"Okay," is the only thing I can say. He holds my hand as I step outside his car.

Mrs. San Deigo is already waiting for me in her office when we got there. Nag paalam si Gino samin na sa labas nalang siya mag iintay. He smiled at me, I couldn't return the favor.

"I don't know what happened Iha but you don't look good today. If it's because I prescribe you a high dosage of pain reliver tell me,"

I remove my shades to wipe my tears.

"Hindi po, ayus lang po ako Maam."

Hinayaan lang ako ni Mrs. Victoria na umiyak sa harap niya. I couldn't utter any words to describe what I am feeling right now. I feel worst. Mas lalo akong naiyak nang yumakap siya sakin. I didn't expect it, she's too nice. Her comforts feels like home.

"You remind me so much about my Nathalie, Cassandra. I know I shouldn't be telling you this. I rarely got to see her now I miss my baby you know? Kahit ano pa yata maging edad nila once na magulang ka, hindi mo maalis yung mag-alala."

She explains that I shouldn't be keeping it all inside me. It's okay to feel hurt, sad and emotional from time to time because that makes us human. We feel emotions because we care.

I have to explain to her everything what happend.

"Did you use protection?"

I am so not used to this topic.

"I- we didn't think about that I'm sorry."

She smiled at me a warm and very understanding smile, I couldn't look into her eyes directly. "They can be really impulsive sometimes."

I couldn't think straight. I calm my self after I cried everything to her. Now I have to explain that it's not Gino that I am talking about.

"Mrs. Victoria I didn't have sex with Gino. It's someone..." parang biglang sumakit ang ulo niya.

"I undestand. It's okay. What matters now is you Cassandra, It's just complicated at some but everything will be okay. You need to go back next month for another check-up,"

"Po? check-up po para saan?"

She smiled at me again. "We need to know if you're pregnant or not. Dun lang kasi natin malalaman since you just had cancer and just recovered. There's a small chance that you're pregnant if not, you still need to continue your medications."

Iniisip ko parin pano ko sasabihin lahat kay Kase. I think he'll understand right? So I have to tell him about my chemotherapy...

"Sabi ni Mrs. Victoria I need to go back next month for another check-up," I explain to Gino.

"You don't need to worry about anything Cass. Everything will be okay," He said to me holding my hand.

"What the fuck?!"

Sabay kaming napa lingon ni Gino sa nag salita.

"Diba sabi ko umalis kana?!"

Hindi kami nakapag salitang dalawa ni Gino sa sinabi ni Kase. Napa kunot ang noo ko, duon lang nag sink in sakin bakit biglaan gusto na umalis ni Gino. Of course he doesn't like it when I'm close to him. There's hatred to his eyes. He looked so different from last night. Duon ko lang napansin na may kasama siya. A boy that I assume is his friend that I never met and a girl who's hands is wrapped around his arm.

Gusto ko mag salita. Mag react. But no words came out to my mouth. Kahit gusto ko magalit sa kanya. Yeah, I didn't think this through. It's been three years... A guy like him wouldn't stay single just for me. I wanted to laugh to ease the pain building inside my chest. What a joke.

"Cassandra?" He called out for me. He couldn't belived he's seeing me with him.

"Kung tapos kana mag salita aalis na kami."

Kita kong inalis ni Kase ang kamay ng babae na naka kapit sa kanya na realise na siguro niya na nakita kona.

I walk outside still holding Gino's hand. I heard him call my name once again but I didn't look back.

Naka upo lang kaming dalawa ni Gino sa sala pag ka uwi namin galing check-up.

"I'm sorry."

Gino breaks the unnerving silent between us.

"I lied to you Cass. Hindi galing sa donation lahat ng ginastos natin para sa medications mo. Galing yun lahat sa pera ni Kase. Bago siya umalis we made a promise, he wanted me to take care of you. But he didn't know you'll had cancer."

"What?" Hindi ko maintindihan. All this time akala ko..

"He knew I liked you Cass. He knew I will never hurt you."

I don't need to know all of this now. I am crying again. Is this way of telling me I'll never see him again by confessing?

"And this house is yours. Kase wanted to live here with you. I need to go, Thank you Cass for letting me be with you all this years. Hindi ko pinag sisisihan na minahal kita,"