𝕥𝕖 𝕒𝕞𝕠ღ // 𝕤𝕖𝕢𝕦𝕖𝕝 𝕥𝕠 𝔽𝕦𝕔𝕜 𝔹𝕦𝕕𝕕𝕚𝕖𝕤 (ON HOLD)

twenty-six

the front door slammed shut and there were heavy sets of footsteps on the hardwood floor. "baby! I'm home!" not nates voice flooded the air. there was a loud slap and many chuckles. i groaned and rolled over.

nate got up early to go to the studio with 'the boys' and left my drunk ass here alone. he didn't turn the fan back on so here I was, tangled in only my panties, with the thinnest sheet I had in that bed. of course, my backside was to the door and my chest was nowhere to be seen.

Nate would have a hay-day if he saw me like this... too bad I'm too sleepy to move. I buried my head deeper into the pillow.

more footsteps found my ears and some chuckles too. the door opened, there was a few mumbles I wasn't listening for and then a slam, that woke me from my almost sleep.

"you are such a beautiful woman." he walked over to my side and the bed dipped beside me. Nate jerked a few times and then slid in the bed beside me. his socked feet tangled with mine and both his arms slid around me.

his lips fell and pressed against my neck as he cuddled with me. "good morning." I greeted him, turning over and facing him. my body definitely felt a lot more sober now that I've slept.

"hi baby." his hand came up and pushed a strand of hair away from my face. he cracked a smile and looked down on me. "you look like you were drinking heavily last night." he smirked and leaned in, pressing a soft kiss against my lips.

I moaned into the kiss and wrapped my arms tightly around him. he had the best hugs and kisses. "I love you." I mumbled, pulling away and digging my head into his chest. Nates arms enclosed around me.

Nate pressed soft kisses on my forehead, then rested his cheek on my hair. "Emily got pregnant, she told us she's already two months along." Nate said. his fingers started playing with the hem of my shirt.

it was silent for a few moments until my thoughts started filling my ears. we've been married for around seven months and we haven't even talked about that part of our lives.

"do you want kids?" I asked softly, pulling away and looking up slightly at Nate. he looked from the sheets around our bodies to my eyes and smiled.

his finger came up and ran over my jawline, "a boy that I can raise to be a real man, give him a strong name. like Jackson or Elijah. maybe Nathan," he winked at me. "something that'll get the ladies." his smile turned to a smirk as I laughed at him.

"you are crazy!" I said with a laugh, making him smirk and move his head quickly to my neck. he started leaving kiss after kiss, covering my entire neck while making me giggle.

"and another boy, one to assist my first born. and then we'll have a girl, who will be my princess, right after my Queen." his lips moved up and he kissed me passionately. my guilt started to kick in.

goddamn my mind. I pulled away and put my hands on his shoulders. "I... don't know if i want kids yet, Nate." his eyes widened and then a confused look fell over them. "at least... right now."

he pulled back a little. "why not?" he wanted to say something else but held himself back.

I let out a sigh and looked at the white shirt covering his chest. "I don't know if I can handle being a mother. and the way our world is heading... Nate, I'm scared. Look what Stassie went through, and what Madison did to Jack, i don't know if i can handle it right now." Nate looked betrayed almost, I don't know how I had betrayed him though; i was being honest. he can't fault me for that.

"that's crazy." he got out of my grasp and stepped away. "what's the point of this then?" he motioned towards both of our bodies.

my jaw fell open. "what's the point of our marriage?" I sat up and held the sheet against my chest. "we love eachother so we vowed to stick by each other until death due us part?" Nate shook his head and massages his temples.

"I need some time to think." he quickly walked to the door and slipped out, to where apparently everyone was listening to our business. i let out a strangled breath and looked down at my thighs. this was stupid.

my body slid from the bed and i walked over to my closet. i changed from regular cheeky underwear and slid into a tight thong, then slipped on high waisted shorts. they were light blue and contrasted against my black halter neck crop top. it went well braless and accented my black vans.

into the bathroom i went for a hair touchup. i showered last night so that means my hair is still clean. i grabbed it all, and within ten minutes had it straight. i did my makeup normally, long lashes and eyeliner, and for a touch, i added nude lipstick that contrasted with my eyes.

with phone in hand, plus the keys to car, i walked out of our room. they were all smoking heavily in the living room, and all their conversations halted. i ignored their looks and nates little huff and walked out of the door.

i remote started the vehicle, and the engine roared up. i might have squealed the tires as i left. and now I'm driving with no real place to go. i glanced at the clock and saw it was noon, and my stomach growled. it was ten minutes before i found for where my stomach was driving me, Panda Express.

the smell of chinese food swirled around me as i stepped in the doors and man did it smell amazing. i went through the crowded lines and ordered my regular, plus a big cookie. my little self found a booth, and put my feet up to eat.

my phone rang with a text, so i took a bite of the fresh mushroom chicken and pulled it out to look at it.

Sammy: where are you???

i ignored it and finished eating my food in silence. it sat in my belly perfectly and made my mind much clearer. where to now?, was the real question to answer. i smiled at a stranger as i held the door open and then walked to my car.

my body fell into the drivers seat and i sighed, looking down at my bloated belly. my phone rang again.

other sam: al answer sammys text please.

again i ignored it, and pulled out of the parking lot. at the stop sign, i typed in the little board dock carnival in LA. i got it on google maps and then hooked it with my bluetooth. my throwback Jams playlist started bumping my speakers and i started on my drive there.