𝕥𝕖 𝕒𝕞𝕠ღ // 𝕤𝕖𝕢𝕦𝕖𝕝 𝕥𝕠 𝔽𝕦𝕔𝕜 𝔹𝕦𝕕𝕕𝕚𝕖𝕤 (ON HOLD)

thirty-four

the boys haven't come around for a good few months, which i didnt mind i suppose. all the weed and booze i have is in the locked cabinet and now, at 20 weeks, my belly was rounding quiet nicely and i was starting to feel it.

but nope, it was a little baby. everyday, i would lay a hand on my warm belly and think. it was mostly about him, and some days i cry, and some days i rolled over and hold the six foot teddy bear I've had. it had the maroon shirt wrapped around the arm which i always rested my head on.

i haven't called nor told him about it, and i wasnt sure if i should. he'll find out anyways, and maybe he'll cause more problems then, but it'll save me a lot of heart ache when it does roll around.

my feet splashed in the pool, my black bikini pulling in the sunlight, so hopefully ill work on my tan while out here.

the air was warm, not humid nor hot enough to be uncomfortable. it was perfect and this is why i was outside.

my phone was hooked up to the speaker system, that i flew Nates brother out to install. little Stew is getting so much older now. he promised not to tell Nate, but he did ask questions. and i told him everything he needed to know in exchange for a promise that if he tells anyone of this before i do, then his hands will be on my wall as decorations and that long hair will all be shaven off. and not all at once.

he knows I'm pregnant, and he also knows that nate and i are divorced. but thats all i limited his ears too. those two things.

Drake was filling my ears and strawberries were filling my tummy, yet all i could think about was Nate. i had my phone right next to me, and i could easily call him and tell him straight up. but with that came how scared i was. i hadn't cried as much as i did when he left me and as much as when he told me he was divorcing me.

having him call me a liar because i just want him back in my life wasnt really sounding nice.

i did get a text though. it was from Stew?

nate knows, nate knows! he knows about the thing. he knows about the thing!

and there it was, my sliding glass door being slammed open. "why didnt you fucking tell me? are you fucking insane, Alessandra?" loud footsteps were on my porch, following nates outburst.

"you told me i was lying when i said i wanted to have a baby with you." i kept my head down but i did pause the music. Two white converse were stopped beside me but i could only look down.

he let out a frustrated sigh. "so you didnt tell me you were pregnant? for fucks sake how long did you know before you called me?" his loud yelling was getting to me. i took a deep breath and let it out shakily.

"fifteen minutes." there was a sigh and he took a few steps away from me. but the steps never came back.

when i looked behind me, i was alone.

A/N: a lot of you have been asking my update schedule. I want to let you all know first hand that i really don't have one. since starting college, as a neuroscience major, my life is constant studying and the only time i really have quality time to write is when i'm procrastinating.

I notice all your messages and comments about updates. I'm trying my hardest to stay on a weekly update basis. that's why when i update after a month, i post 2-3 chapters if i can.

Thank you for bearing with me!!!!!! chapters will soon get bigger and better 🥰 -M