REALITY- a goofed up nightmare ( nanowrimo13)

chap 45

The exams were over and I was leaving for home. I saw Kanish's car waiting for me outside school.

I was grateful for him to be on time everyday and pay so much attention to me these days. We didn't talk much but his presence was enough to stop me from another breakdown.

was walking towards his car when I saw Aarsh in my peripheral vision.

I stopped dead in my tracks.

I could pretend I hadn't seen him.I could just walk up to my brother's car. But that when I notice how tired and untamed he looked. The circles under his beautiful eyes showed he hadn't been sleeping well. His eyes still held the same sadness and hurt maybe even despair this time. His had loss weight, his hair was longer than usual. His body seemed exhausted. He looked haggard and weak.

He came running to me, his skin was pale than the usual shine that his face held.

"What do you want now?" I asked trying to end the conversation before it started.

I had to keep him out of my life, that was the best I could do for all.

I couldn't let him ruin everything he had for me. And he was equally at fault for ruining things with his immaturity.

"Dodo, please let me..." I cut him.

"Nobody every calls me that again." I was stern this time.

He looks even more sad and runs his hand through his hair.

"I know, I was wrong, I deserve all your bitterness and wrath. But could we please try and fix it...I really miss you." he sad with so much desperation and pain on his face, that I just wanted to hug him and stop his misery.

But I could not. I had to be strong.

"Are you done now? because my brother is waiting and he has more of important things to handle than me. And to answer your question.

No, we can never fix this. I don't need your sorry ass and we are done. We are finish as a couple.

It is better if you accept it sooner. And just leave me alone forever. I don't want you anywhere near me again." I said a little harshly to get my point clear.

The damage was done. it was a miracle how I had tried and controlled the tears dwelling up in my eyes.

I had prepared this speech since the day we broke up.

"I will do what you want. I'd anything that you'd want.

You should know that this is the hardest thing I have ever done. Having you as a part of my life was the best thing that ever happen to me. I love you so much. I am not leaving you because I don't love you anymore. I am ending this because that is what you want. I know you are not happy without me but if this is what satisfies you, I will never bother you again." he said with pain dripping in his voice. I was gulping the huge sobs hurt my throat in the process.

"It will be difficult to be away from you, it will kill me to live without you. It may sound cliche and unrealistic but I know what have I gone through in the past few days.

I just want you to promise me to find someone better than me. You deserve much more than me. I want that someone to love you more than I did. He should make you smile and laugh in the stupidest ways. He should protect you and call you beautiful in the weirdest attire. He should never let a tear form up in your eye. He should love you, and love you unconditionally.I am a bit demanding here, but what can I say, I want the best for you dodo."  He tried to end it with a laugh but the laugh was a forced one I could tell. The moist in his eyes made him look so vulnerable that it broke my heart all over again.

I need to get out of here before I say something or do something stupid.

I glance one last time at him and ran to my brother hastily throwing myself in his car and asking him to drive away.

My cry and sobs were uncontrollable all the way home. Kanish dropped me but insisted on being with me, but I manage to force him into going back to work. That boy had been baby sitting me past two weeks. He needed a break from me and his work was equally important.

I ran up to my room and locked myself and cried turning and curling up in a ball.