Sterek One Shots

It's Now Been...

Triggers: Depression, Suicidal Thoughts
•••••
I never thought my life would be like this. Full of supernatural beings, danger, and death.
It started off kinda cool, but now? Now it's mentally scarring. I've seen so much death that I can never un-see.
I keep that to myself though. The pack has no idea how hard it is to keep myself going each day. How hard it is not to take a gun to my head, a blade to the wrist, or a rope to the ceiling fan and let myself dangle there a few days.

You'd think they'd be able to sense that I was feeling this way, but no. Nobody has ever noticed how I hold my breath when they casually insult me as if I wasn't even there. They don't notice how I bite my tongue to avoid being judged, or how I will pull multiple all nighters researching something without so much as a thank you afterwards.
But I do it so that they keep me around. It's the only reason I'm even really pack.
I easily fake a smile when I'm with them, fake a laugh when they're joking around. Like a pre-programmed robot.
And although they believe it, and I can keep it up a while, I'm dying inside. I can't keep living this lie. I don't wanna be around where I'm not needed.

So that leads up to where we are right now. I'm at the loft for the weekly meeting and I quietly sit on the couch while they all talk about the new big and bad. They probably don't even realize I'm here.
"Hey. Are you ok?" I snap my head up to see Derek sitting down next to me.
"Hmmm. Yea. I'm fine." I say quietly although I know he can tell it's a lie.
"You can talk to me about anything Stiles. Remember that." He says getting up and heading towards the kitchen.
(I've always had feelings for Derek, since I first met him. But he's straight, and dating Braedon.)
I feel my phone start to vibrate and the ringtone starts to ring shortly after.
'Parrish? Why would he call me?' I wonder.
"Stiles!" Parrish gasps and I start to worry.
"Hey. Is everything alright?" I ask and the next words he says make my stomach drop.
"Stiles...there's no...easy way to tell you this...your father was shot. He was rushed to hospital and they say that he's not going to make it. It severed an artery and they could only repair it long enough to grant him some goodbyes." He explains and I feel tears well up in my eyes.
"No! That's not true! Tell me it's not true!!" I yell and he sighs but I already know that it is.
"I'll be there in a few. Make sure he knows that." I cry and hang up quickly.
"Stiles-" Scott starts but I'm out of there before I hear anything else.
•••••
My dad died later that night. I was right by his side the entire time. I couldn't stop crying at first, but now I'm all cried out. All I've been doing these past few days is sitting in my room and staring at the wall.
His funeral is today, so I'm all dressed up and waiting for Scott to come pick me up.
"Ready to go?" I hear his voice ask quietly.
I nod and slowly stand up from my place on my bed.
We head out to his car and he takes me to the church.

After he's buried next to my mom, I go home and have a really long cry.
I'm 18. I'm an orphan. I have nobody. Why should I even want to live?
•••••
It's now been a week since the funeral. There's a pack meeting tonight, but I'm not going. Instead, I'm going to stay home, and put a bullet through my head. This way they can't stop me. There'd be no coming back from this one. No amount of bandages, stitches, or drugs could ever bring me back from this.

I grab my dad's pistol from his safe, and turn the safety off. I sit myself on my bedroom floor and pick up my phone, dialling Scott's number.
•••••
Scott's Pov

"Where's Stiles?" Isaac asks and we all look around.
"He should've been here by now." Lydia says worriedly.
"Maybe-" I'm cut off by my phone ringing.
"Stiles? Where are you?" I ask and I can hear him take a few deep breaths.
"Stiles, I need you to breathe man." I say.
"Am I on speaker?" Stiles asks.
"No, not-"
"Put me on speaker." I click the button nervously and give Derek a look, telling him to prepare to make a run for Stiles' house if something happens.
"So, you guys all know how...how my dad passed away?" He says quietly.
"Well, I'm not...taking it...very well."
"Stiles, we're all here for you. You know that." I say firmly.
"Yea, whatever you need. Just name it." Erica agrees.
"Well, I'm going to need your forgiveness." He says with a sniffle. He's clearly crying right now and Derek looks at me concerned but I shake my head. Not yet.
"For what Stiles?" Lydia asks concerned.
"I've kept this a secret from you guys for a long time but I need to come clean. I've been depressed for a long time now. After everything that's happened and so many people dying, I just can't handle it." Stiles sobs.
"Stiles! There's no need to feel sorry about that!" Derek pipes in and Stiles takes a breath.
"I know. I'm not sorry about that."
"Then what are you sorry about?" I ask carefully.
"For what I'm going to do." I look up at Derek and nod quickly, and before anyone can say another word, Derek is out the door running through the woods towards Stiles' house.
"What do you mean Stiles?" Isaac asks and we can hear a click.
"That was a gun." Jackson whispers.
"I can't handle this life anymore! I'm 18, I have depression and anxiety, and I'm an orphan! I can't deal with anymore death! I'm suicidal and have been for a while. This is my suicide note. This is my goodbye!" Stiles cries out and we all stop in our tracks.
"Stiles no!" I yell but then there's a gunshot that goes off.
"Stiles?!" I yell.
"Stiles!!!" We all start to panic.
•••••
Derek's Pov