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e l e v e n

"Hey honey," My mom greeted as I entered the house. She was just drinking some water and going through her phone. "Are you okay?" she asked, just as I'm hitting the bottom step to go up to my room.

"No mom, would you be fine if the love of your life was in a coma? Just sitting there lifeless while you sit there and tell him stories not knowing if he can hear you! That he will remember you if he wakes up? That you have to act like everything okay, when its really not. And it's getting really hard to stay strong and you just don't know what to do anymore," my voice broke, and tears were streaming down my face, the box on the floor, and my mother is up and already hugging me and stroking my hair like she did when I was little. I leaned my head into her shoulder and just cried.

And cried, and cried.

"Hey listen, look at me," my mom said and listen my face with her soft but cold hands. Her hands were always soothing. She wiped my tears with her thumb before she continued.

"I know you're trying to stay strong and this is all really sudden, but it's okay to cry. It's okay to cry, it's okay to yell, not at me," my mother and I giggled at my recent outburst. "And it's okay to be frustrated and sad," "I know you think it's not fair this happened to Luke, but it's not your fault, love. It was the other, drunk, driver." she put an emphasis on the word 'drunk'. I looked down at my hands and chewed on my lip.

She was still slowly stroking at my hair and cooing at me. I sniffled a few more times, and hugged my mother. She wiped my tears one more time "Now, why don't you not go back there for a little?" I snapped my head up at my mother.

"What?" I gasped. "I think it's best for your mental state that you don't go back there for a little," she restated. "No no no no. No. No one comes to visit him, the only people that have been in that room in the last five hours was me, a nurse, and his doctor. Not a word from his mom, dad, or brothers. Not even his best friends. They're my best friends too, I haven't even gotten a text from them, or a 'good morning' like I usually do. So I have to step up and push my feelings aside, and let him know I'm there even if he can't hear me. Because no one else will!" I yelled, and was breathing heavy by the end of the sentence.

"No one else will," I mumbled.