Second Chances

13. Explanations

•August•

"I just put Avy down for her nap and Shaun and Remi are gone somewhere. We can talk now if you want."

I nodded leaned back on the kitchen counter. I stared down at ha' and waited fa' ha' to start talkin'.

She sighed and cleared ha' throat. "Ok so before I tell you this you have to remember that it's in the past and there's no need to be upset about it anymore. Ok?"

I furrowed my eyebrows and crossed my arms.

What the hell is she bouta tell me?

"I'a try."

She sighed again and looked down. "Ok then um. Well uh once I had Avy money had gotten real tight and I needed to get some things for her. I couldn't ask my mom because she was already paying bills and making sure we were fed so I picked up a job."

"Why Derrick ain't help you out?"

"He was but a newborn baby needed a lot. He had just got a job at a tattoo shop so he wasn't getting paid that much."

Even though I can't stand that nigga I give him his props for takin' care of Avy.

"So whenever he or my mom was off they would watch Avy while I went to work. I only went in Thursdays and Fridays. They paid me pretty well so those two days a week were enough. I had talked to my boss about my situation and he helped me out a little with extra money when he could."

I slowly nodded. "Aight Skye you tellin' me dis but you still ain't tell me what ya job was."

She was quiet for a minute before speaking. "I used to dance."

I furrowed my eyebrows and chuckled. "You mean like ballet and shit?"

She bit ha' lip and looked up at me without sayin' nothin'.

"That's whatchu talkin bout right?"

She slowly shook ha' head. "You know what I mean."

I looked at ha' like she was crazy. "So you tryna tell me that you was up in a goddamn strip club lettin' some perverted ass niggas look at yo body and shit?"

She sighed. "I wasn't naked. I'm not proud of it either August-"

"Then why the fuck you did it?!"

"Because it was easy money and we really needed it at the time! If I could have called someone and asked to borrow some money I would have but there wasn't! There was no one so I took matters into my own hands and did what I had to do for my baby."

"Ain't nobody told yo ass to go and have a baby anyways! You wouldn't have had to do that shit in the first place!"

She stared up at me and furrowed ha' eyebrows. She shook ha' head and laughed bitterly. "Wow. So that's how you really feel? What happened to think before you spoke?" She opened the slidin' door and went to sit on the steps of the patio slamin' the door behind her.

I sighed and waited a second before goin' out thea.

Ha arms were crossed over ha knees and ha head was down.

"I ain't mean it like that Skye. All I'm sayin' is you shoulda waited until you was stable enough to have a baby."

She looked up at me and sighed. "You just don't understand."

I sat down next to ha'. "Well make me understand."

"It didn't matter when everybody else thought the perfect time would be because to me anytime was perfect. Before her I wasn't able to get pregnant as easily as other women. There was little to no hope for me."