They Took Him

Chapter 1: Getting To Know Me

About three months ago, my little brother Joshua was killed and I grieved harder than I ever have in my life. He was all I had and it probably seems unrealistic that my little brother could be all I had, right? I mean, maybe I should introduce myself.

My name is Tonya Ja'Nae Jackson and I'm 18 years old. I was born and raised in New Orleans and still live there but right now I'm just another person trying to make it out the ghetto. You see where I'm from, people barely make it to see 25 or in my brother's case, not even 14. My dad, however, made it to see 38..

About 6 years ago, I was lying in my bed asleep when I was awakened by a lot of noise. I peeked out the door and I see guys dressed in all black walking in my dad's room. I was so scared and I knew something wasn't right when I heard yelling and my dad begging for his life. I prayed to God nothing would happen to my dad as I hid in the closet in my room. As soon as I said "Amen", I heard 12 shots ring out. I knew, sitting in my closet, that my dad was dead. I heard the guys leave and shortly after, my little brother ran in my room crying. I held him and we just cried for hours before I went in the other room. After I saw my dad laying out like that, I was never the same, but I was always strong for my little brother. That strength gave me enough common sense to call 911 and to call my mother. We saw counselors and people asked if we were okay, but there was nothing anyone could say to make the images of my father laying dead in his room go away. My brother didn't see my dad after, though, because I felt like he shouldn't have had to. He suffered just as much, though. I learned that life went on, though, and with me and my brother living with my moms now, we was basically living alone. I had to toughen up...

My mother, Tenage Lashay Jackson, was a prostitute. She was well-known and she had a record to match. She never asked how we felt when my dad got killed, she just said, "it's time to grow up". I didn't understand what she meant until about a week after we moved in with her. She never made sure we ate or asked us how school was. I don't think she really cared, honestly. I made sure we ate, I made sure we got everything we needed, and I made sure my brother was never exposed to anything out there in the streets. There was only so much I could do, though, because it seemed like everything needed money.

About a year after we moved in with my moms, though, she came home with this guy. I was sitting in the living room with my little brother when they came in. They went straight to the back and I was used to it because that's just the way my mother was with men. Well, about ten minutes after they get there, I hear arguing. They argued for a little while before she came into the living room and asked for my help.

"Come here baby", she said. I got up and she led me to her room. "Be a big girl for mommy and take your clothes off".

I could not believe my mother wanted me to do something like this but at the same time, I didn't understand it like I thought I did.

Chapter 2: I'm only 13

I started to undress and they both stood there watching me like I was putting on a show. He walked up to me and he grinned at me like I was some token prize he won at a fair. He pushed my head down and commanded me to suck. It was like he was trying to choke me and I didn't understand how my mother could stand there and watch her own child suffer. I pulled back in time to see my little brother standing in the doorway with a gun in his right hand.

The tears that streamed my brother's face broke my heart and before I could go to him, I heard gunshots for the second time in my life. I turned around and watched as the man who had just molested me fell to the ground holding his chest. Not long after, his body went completely limp and I heard my mother screaming at my little brother.

"Why did you shoot him? He was a cop. Omg, what did you do?", she screamed my brother's way.

Before I knew it, my little brother and I were helping my my mother toss his body in the Mississippi River. She told us we could never tell anyone about it and she never showed an ounce of sympathy. I needed it, though, and my caramel eyes screamed "I'm only 13"...

I wish I could tell you this was as bad as my life got but unfortunately this is only the beginning...