They Took Him

Chapter 20: Love or Lust?

Brandon was still hot on Michael's trail, trying to kill him but I was chasing him a different kind of way. I had, long ago, given up the thought of killing Michael because my heart would break into millions of pieces if I were to kill him and I knew it. Michael was life to me, the very air I took into my lungs. Sure, I thought about my dad sometimes, but I loved Michael so that alone made up for all the negative thoughts.

I hated hurting Brandon; I had created so much distance between us it was ridiculous. In my heart, I knew I could never be with Brandon anymore, though. I was completely wrong, but it felt so right. I had tried to make it work with Brandon and we even tried sex, but it didn't work out for us. I was selfish because I still wanted his loyalty, but I had betrayed his long ago. I still wanted his friendship and honesty, but I had lied to him over and over. I knew it would catch up with me sooner or later and just like I thought it would, it did.

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I was sick a whole week before I got up to go to the doctor. I knew there was a virus going around, but I could not shake it for some reason. I sat in the waiting area an hour before I was able to see the doctor. When I explained my symptoms, she just laughed and told me she knew I didn't have a virus. "You're pregnant, my lovely", she had told me in a happy tone. I just smiled to hide the confusion I had in my mind. About ten minutes later, she came back and told me she had confirmed my pregnancy. She started talking about how I was high-risk because I was young, but I only tuned her out. For the second time in my life, I was considering abortion.

Later that day, I called Michael and told him we had to talk. I was so nervous about what he would want, I hadn't even considered what I wanted. We ate dinner and as I sat there admiring him, I suddenly wanted to have his kid and I was sure about it.

"I'm pregnant", I told him waiting for his reaction. He surprised me with a smile and it was then I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I was so scared to tell him, but he was the happiest I had ever seen him before.

"You have bigger surprises than me today", he said. "I have an announcement and proposition for you babygirl", he said seriously and I got really nervous. "You give me life where I've felt drained for a very long time. You are everything to me and it feels like I've known you forever", he said falling to one knee. "Will you marry me", he asked.

I was so shocked I just looked at him. He got really nervous like I was going to say no and I just laughed before I told him "yes" excitedly. He looked absolutely relieved, but he slid the ring on and sat back down. I was not prepared for what he said next, though..

"That was the proposition, now here's the announcement: I don't want my kid to grow up here. I don't want my kid to be subjected to the dangers of the city we grew up in. He should have a better life than we did, so I think we should move to Atlanta", he said calmly.

I didn't know what to say or how to feel. I had not been with this man long, but I had accepted his proposal and was about to move away with him. How would I tell Brandon all of this? I told him I needed to think about such a big decision and went home, only to think about it all night.

I had a lot to think about. Did I really want to move in with this man and leave the city I loved? Did I love him or was it lust?

Two days later, I stood at Brandon's door to talk to him. He looked so happy to see me and we talked for hours. I couldn't break his heart so the topic of me moving never came up in conversation. I knew he would hate me. I knew he would never talk to again if I told him. I was scared of what he'd think because he was the only one who had believed in me for so long.

Two weeks later, I walked across the stage, finally graduating. I wished my mother, father, brother, and Tiffany were there to share the moment, but I knew they were watching anyway. I saw Brandon and gave him the biggest hug ever. For me, that hug was goodbye, but I knew it was the hug that would break his heart later. My apartment was completely packed and I survived the end of high school with no-one knowing I was pregnant. I don't know what it was that had made me move so fast with Michael, but I didn't regret it one bit. Maybe it was lust. Maybe it was love. Whatever it was, I was just thankful for a little happiness...