Apricity #Wattys2016

Chapter Six: Victoria

"Victoria Sweetie?" A soft voice lingered above me. Small hands gently shook my shoulders. I grumbled and rolled over.

"Umph!" I grunted my back meeting the cold ground. I jolted awake looking around me. Susan stood over me suppressing a smile and holding a large steaming mug of coffee.

I glanced around again taking in my surroundings. I was in Susan's living room. The sun was just rising so it was still early. I remembered watching the news for more information or updates on the situation down the street, I guess I had fallen asleep and Susan had covered me up with a thick warm quilt.

"Are you ok?" She asked and set the cup of coffee on the stand next to me.

"Yeah." I climbed back onto the couch and grabbed the cup of coffee holding it in front of my face. The stream trail warmed my face making me sigh as I took a small sip. Susan sat down next to me and laid a hand on my back rubbing my back in a comforting circular motion.

"I meant how are you doing? You know after yesterday." She asked looking me. I continued to look at my cup as tears blurred my vision and threatened to spill. I was worried that if I met her gaze which was like lasers burning the side of my face trying to get my attention than I would crumble. I shrugged my shoulders.

"I'm going to go to my house to get a shower." I managed to get out but my voice cracked half way through. I stared at the coffee in my cup watching the ripples move the soft brown liquid because my hands were shaking I held it tighter willing them to stop. I had hoped that she hadn't heard the sadness in my voice but I could tell she had when I peaked at her face out of the corner of my eye and saw full pity in her features.

I set the coffee cup down and stood up pulling on my jacket. Susan followed me as I walked into the hallway pulling on my shoes. I blinked rapidly drying up the tears in my eyes and telling myself I could hold it together until I got into my own house. I bid Susan a goodbye and left.

At my door I fumbled with the keys tears once again blurred my vision but this time I didn't care and let them fall from my eyes. I jammed the wrong key in the lock and tried to pull it out but dropped my keys on the ground in the process I covered my mouth with my hoodie sleeve suffocating the sob that painfully crawled up my throat

I snatched the keys up swallowing down the painful lump in my throat. I finally got the door unlocked I threw the keys in the small bowl and locked the door behind me. The curtains were pulled so it looked like night in the apartment. I needed a shower badly but I couldn't hold it in any longer.

I collapsed and for the first time since my mom died I cried for hours curled in fetal position on my living room floor. My head was pounding and uncontrollable shakes racked through my body as I cried into the carpet not bothering to wipe my tears or muffle my sobs.

It was four hours later when I finally got the strength to stop crying and get up. As I glanced around the apartment a cold feeling washed over me yet it was comforting. I felt stronger. Ruthless. I was going to find my sister and no one was going to get in my way I was tired of sitting around miserable and crying my eyes out, I had finally had enough. I stomped to my shower throwing off my jacket and shoes on the way leaving them laying in the hallway.

I vigorously scrubbed my hair and body until it was practically raw and stood in the steaming water for a moment letting it soothe my cold body it helped sort of but when I got out I still felt cold inside. When I passed Amber's room I didn't even tear up I didn't look back or stand in the doorway and double check to make sure she wasn't in their like I had the day before. I knew she wasn't in their and there was no point in pondering outside of her room while she was out their cold scared and alone and maybe even dead. It scared me that I had finally accepted her disappearance but I wasn't about to do nothing about it. I pulled on some warm clothes and shrugging into my leather jacket and chucks.