Bullied | j.b

14: It's Gonna Be Alright

*Justins POV*

I just stare at Annabelle as she runs away from me. Her voice rings in my ears "I thought you loved me." What she says just repeats in my ears as I sit on a bench thinking about what I just did. I can't believe I f****d up so badly.

I do love her, I love her so much and thats why I did it. I did it because I know what happened and it hurts me so much that she went off and kissed another guy. She doesn't love me like how I love her. But I really should not have slapped her. I kind of hope she actually did kiss him now... because if she didn't then that means I slapped her for no reason at all. I'm starting to have my doubts about this situation. I think it was Joey who tried to kiss her again. 

*Annabelles POV*

I slam the door shut not bothering to lock it as I run  inside my house. The tears are rushing down my face and blurring my vision as I stumble my way up the stairs.

I can't take this life anymore! I thought Justin changed for the better! I thought that he actually cared about me! Whenever he told me he loves me, it was just a lie! I never would have thought he would go back to being my bully. I was completley serious when I told him that I love him. No one had ever made me feel so alive. But now he makes me feel dead. No not quite dead yet. But I will be. And the worst part is... he won't care.

I dry my tears enough so I can write my letter. Stumbling back down the hallway and into my room, I grab a piece of paper and pencil, while I sit down at my desk. I start my letter:

Dear loved ones, I am writing this letter to you on... 

"No, no, no." I think outloud as I erase my work, leaving grey smudges on the once white paper. I think about it and start again: 

Dear, Mom, Dad, Mae, Brooke, and Justin, By the time someone is reading this, I will be dead. No point in trying to save me. I just wanna say I love all of you guys. So much. I know it sounds cheesy but I love you to the moon and back.

I know this may seem sudden to you but really these thought have been going through my head for a while, I don't want to say it but, Justin that slap put me over the edge. I have been cutting for a very long time, ever since Justin started bullying me. As you guys may know, Justin is very popular, probably the most popular guy at our school. So when he broke up with me and started bullying me, other people bullied me to. They cyberbullied me but I never let anyone see the hate. You never saw the cuts because they were up high on my thighs and on my stomach. This is my last resort, it's a good thing no one took away the sleeping pills because those are what I will use. 

I'll start with you mommy. You have been with me through everything. And I mean everything! My first steps, first word, my first day of kindergarten, when I started middle school, and a few weeks ago when I started high school. And that is not even everything, you have been there for those big milestones and the little things to. I know I didn't always act like it but I honestly appreciate you so much. It's hard for me to say goodbye but I don't want to stay here right now. I might regret it later when I'm up in heaven looking down on your sad face but I don't want to be bullied. I would expand more but that would take too long, someone might find me before I can take the pills. I know it sounds bad and I'm sorry. I love you so much mommy and I'm sorry if I cause you greif . 

Next is you dad. Unlike mom you haven't been with me all my life. The daddy I grew up with left when I went into grade 5. You started to work all the time, and you leave for orlando practically every other week for a business trip. But I know it was to help keep a roof over our heads and food in our mouths. Maybe when I'm gone you can spark up your romance with mom again, you will have one less mouth to feed and you can stop working as much. But I still love and appreciate you. I wish you were there for me and mom more often but I guess your work comes first. I hope you learn to appreciate me and mom more once I'm gone. I love you daddy. Like you called me when I was younger: Bye, from your baby girl.