Bullied | j.b

18: One and a Half Months

*Annabelle's POV*

It's been one and a half months since Justin and I broke up and one and a half months since Justin moved to Atlanta. And it's been one and a half months that I have spent mourning.

Every morning I wake up and go to school with my mom, Mae, or Brooke. When I get home I have a snack then go straight to my room. I don't exactly do anything else but sometimes I go on YouTube and search: Kidrauhl. There is already millions of subscribers, views, likes and there is more videos like promoting his album coming out soon. He already released a single; One Time and it's a love song. I want to believe that it could be about me but he's probably already forgotten about me and he's hitting on some other celebrity. He said that he would never let me go, but he hasn't even tried texting me or anything. I know that I told him not to chase after me but still, I thought that he would still care. He sure seemed like he cared that day in the airport.

Sometimes if it's a really bad day, I cut. I don't want to but it's my last resort. The cold metal on my skin just feels right. The physical pain helps me forget about Justin for a while. I have about six or seven scars on each wrist. I also have three or four on my torso. I keep it really secretive by wearing bracelets and using makeup to cover the scars. It's a good thing that its winter and I won't be wearing bikinis or crop tops.  It's definitely not something I'm proud of but I just can't stop.

  Sometimes I have suicidal thoughts when the bullying is really bad but I haven't tried anything yet. I kept my note from before, re-wrote it on the computer, and made some changes. My parents don't know about my cuts, suicidal thoughts, or my note that is ready for any given time if I decide that it's my time to go.

My parents rarely see me now-a-days. For one thing, it's because I'm always hiding away from the world, in my room. And for a second thing, it's because they are a little shaken up about my suicide attempt. My mom showed my dad and he wants to get closer to us but he's scared to. He doesn't want to be too close just to loose us.

I'm shaken out of my thoughts when I hear my mom calling me, "Annabelle! Please come downstairs! It's been long enough!"

I take a second to think about this. I mean, I guess it has been long enough maybe I should let go of him like he did with me. Slowly, I get up from my bed and place my teddy bear -that Justin won for me- on my bed. I then make my way into my closet to get dark-wash skinny jeans and a sweatshirt on, hiding my wrists. Not bothering about my tear stained cheeks; I make my way downstairs as I tie my hair  into a high ponytail.

"Annabelle!" My mom says with a smile when I come into the living room.

"Hey, mom." I say putting on a fake smile.

"Sweetie, I think that you should call Mae and Brooke. They can help you feel better. Maybe you can go somewhere!" My mom offers with a look of concern.

"I don't want to be around people!" I say with a frown.

"It was just a suggestion sweetie don't be upset." She explains.

"I'm sorry, but Justin forgot about me! I love him, mom! I don't want to be in public where there are posters of him and such. It's bad enough going to school; they even decorated his old locker with pictures." I start explaining. But I don't want to go any farther because things will probably slip out. Things like; I don't want to go outside because I might see people from school. She would ask why and I would have to tell her about the bullying. Every day at school people spread rumors around and say that Justin broke up with me. The people say things like; "No wonder he broke up with her! She's so ugly, and now he could get any celebrity he wants. I would have broken up with her to!"