Mr. Bieber (A Justin Bieber Love Story)

Mr. Bieber -- Ten: What Have I Done?

Ten - What Have I Done?

[Carter]

The sunlight burned my eyes behind my eyelids. My body ached, but with a pleasant side to it. I rub my eyes, still really tired. Everything came flashing back to me and I suck in a breath. I quickly take the anxiety pills before I can really break down. I look down to see that I am naked, completely and utterly naked.

"What did I do?" I mutter to myself. I look over to see Justin asleep by my side. I lifted the comforter to see he had been naked too. I look around at our discarded clothes all over the place. "What have I done?"

Justin stirs in his sleep, turning over to face me. I quickly take my pain medication before that can get really bad. He wakes up and peers at me through sleep-filled eyes.

"Good morning," he mutters, sniffling.

"What did we do?" I ask, looking at him with worry.

"You don't remember?" he questions, waking up completely.

I shake my head and look around, my pulse rising as my worry did. What had we done? Did we sleep together? What can't I remember? I put my head in my hands and shake it. My brown curls bounce around my shoulders as I shake my head even more.

"I can't remember anything," I cry out. "I can't remember!"

Justin sits up and wraps his arms around me. He shushes me, trying to calm me down. He says, "Would you like me to tell you what happened? I'll tell you what had happened if you want to know. What is the last thing you remember?"

"I was playing with Tuts then everything goes fuzzy," I reply, trying to stop the tears from falling. "It's all fuzzy. Did we-"

Justin nods. "We did. You made love to me." He kisses the side of my head. "I promise you that it was not forced. I would never take advantage of you."

The tears slow and I can breathe easier. "Was it good?"

"Best night of my life," he whispers into my ear. "I'm sorry. I thought you were aware of everything."

I look up at him and he brushes the hair from my face.

"I want to remember," I say. "I want to remember making love to you."

"Not now," he says. "It shouldn't have happened last night. It was so soon."

"Why can't I remember?" I ask, tears swelling up in my eyes again. "I just want to remember."

Justin murmurs calming words to me as he rocks me back and forth. My tears come and go, but, for the most part, I was collected enough for public.

"I have to go to school," I say, dabbing at my eyes with a tissue.

"No, you don't," says Justin. "I can just call in sick for the both of us."

"No, that might raise suspicion," I say, standing up. I stand up and walk over to the closet like a newborn deer and get dressed in a part of Justin's sweatpants, my shirt, then with a hoodie from him. I pull on my Vans and walk down the stairs.

"Come on, I'll drive you to the usual spot," Justin says, pulling on some pants and a shirt. He snatches his keys off the bookshelf and walked out with him. I felt exposed, not from sleeping with Justin, but still from the rape. I didn't know if I wad ever going to get over this feeling, but I knew I couldn't let it stop me.

Justin and I get into the Camero, driving down the highway I had run down. He stops at the corner that he would drop me off at and turns off the engine. He faces me and takes my hand.

"You don't have to do this," he says, running his thumb across my knuckles.

"I need to, Justin," I say, nodding. "I can't run from everything."

He sighs, nods, then kisses me gently. I kiss him back and get out of the car. I wrap my arms around my torso, trying to hold myself together. I take a hair tie from my wrist and put my hair up in a messy, I-don't-even-care-anymore ponytail.

"Time to face this bull head-on," I mumble. Lovely.