I Never Knew

Don't Want it to End

Shizuo runs through the empty, moonlit streets of Ikebukuro. He had run because he had feared the reaction of the dark haired raven. His face burns red with embarrassment. He had finally told Izaya how he felt. He had actually done it! But he's sure his feelings for the informant are not mutual. How could Izaya love someone like Shizuo? It was incomprehensible. Shizuo arrives at his apartment and slams the door closed, leaning back against it. He hates himself. He had known he could never tell Izaya how he really felt, but he had gone against the rules he had set for himself. 

Suddenly, a loud knock on the door startles the blonde bartender. Shizuo has a hunch about who's on the other side of his front door. Shizuo considers just  not opening it, but if it WAS Izaya, he wouldn't be able to stand passing up an opportunity to see his face....no matter what the informant had to say.

Shizuo turns to the door and hesitantly reaches for the knob. When he opens the door, he finds Izaya staring at him from the hallway. Shizuo silently marvels at the incredibly attractive male. 

"How did you know where I live?" Shizuo asks Izaya, making the raven smirk. 

"I know everything, Shizu-chan. I'm Ikebukuro's best info broker." says Izaya. Shizuo huffs and tries to get his thoughts together. 'What am I gonna say to him?!' he asks himself inside his head. 

"Listen, Izaya..." he starts, but is quickly cut off by the quick movement of the raven. Before Shizuo knows what's happening, he feels Izaya's soft lips against his own. Now it's Shizuo's turn to be surprised. His eyes nearly pop out of his head as the informant kisses him. Shizuo eventually gets used to it and kisses Izaya back. Time seems to slow for both of the males, and the world around them disappears completely. They don't notice when the lady who lives in the apartment across from Shizuo walks up the stairs to find the two making out in the blonde's doorway. She stares for a second, but quickly unlocks her door and slams it closed after she enters her living quarters. 

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Izaya locks his lips on Shizuo's. His heart threatens to beat out of his chest. The dark haired raven never wanted this feeling to end. But, eventually, it has to. Shizuo pulls away from Izaya and says "So does this mean you feel the same way?" Izaya grins in reply and says "Since the first day I met you, back in high school."

"You too?" Shizuo says, full of glee. He realizes they're still standing in the doorway, and asks "So, flea, you wanna come in?" Izaya smirks and replies with a "Sure!".

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Shizuo lets the raven into his cluttered apartment and follows him to the couch. There's an awkward silence for a moment before the blonde speaks up and says "So, about what you said earlier...how you're not actually a murderer...." he pauses for a brief second before continuing "Please elaborate on that for me."

Izaya smiles and starts explaining "I never take anyone's life away from them against their will. I find the people who want to die, but don't have the guts to end it themselves, and I....encourage them."

"Why?" Shizuo asks "Why do you care about them? And how, exactly, do you 'encourage' them?"

"I care because..." Izaya searches for the right words before continuing "I don't want others to feel how I did. When I was a child, I was abused by my parents and bullied by everyone else. It made me feel terrible, but it also made me gain an intense passion for them. That's why I love humans so, so dearly. Even though I loved them, I still felt terrible enough to, unsuccessfully, try to kill myself several times. But I'm still here.

"I find people who are already in pain, and who's lives are already miserable, and I make them more miserable. I 'encourage' them to go ahead and end it. And, once they do, their pain and suffering are gone! I help take their pain away from them."

Shizuo thinks for a moment, then speaks up, saying "Don't you think that sounds a little sick?" Izaya laughs and says "Don't you think beating up anyone who crosses you is a little sick as well?" Shizuo answers the question with a grimace. 

"Shizu-chan," Izaya says, changing the subject "when did you realize you loved me?" the raven looks to the blonde bartender with questioning eyes. 

A pink tint lightens Shizuo's face as he says "There wasn't a specific time or anything. I just slowly started to notice how you make me feel.... Izaya.... did you love me when you tried to blow me up in that construction yard?" 

Izaya smirks and questions in reply "Did YOU love ME when you smacked me like a baseball into the next building over right after that, Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo smiles and replies with "Touche."

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Btw, sorry I couldn't update this sooner. I actually have a life... surprisingly. :P I've had A LOT going on recently. Also, I'm having some technical difficulties with this part, so bear with me and get mad at the site, not me :3 I hope you've enjoyed this so far, and I also hope you continue to enjoy it. Comments are always welcome!!! I appreciate any ideas you might have as to where the story should lead to. If you do have any ideas, PM me. If I like your idea, I might use it and dedicate a part to you! :D Anyways, I have to go, so I'll update when I can. Bai! ^.^