Insert Idiotic Title Here

Chapter Three

A/N: OMG I'VE BEEN CRYING FOR LIKE A TRILLION HOURS IT'S TERRIBLE!!! JACOB SARTORIUS HAS A ZIT THE SIZE OF A STRAWBERRY!!! HIS FACE WAS SO PERFECT AND NOW HE LOOKS MORE LIKE AN ACTUAL HUMAN BOY AND IT SUUUUXXX!!! I LIKED HIS CREEPY ABNORMALLY CLEAN ALIEN FACE!!!

Mary Sue's POV

LOL ANYWAY when we got to school we saw my every Asian stereotype ever friend Lee, who was eating ramen and making a new iPhone. Then I saw my emo friend Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way listening to My Chemical Romance and writing depressing poetry. Bet you didn't see this coming--I'M HOTTER THAN THEM BOTH LOL!

"HAI GUUUYS!" said Bob. He had gotten through the struggle of loosing candy apple red perfectly, so proud of him XOXO! THEN LEE NINJA KICKED HIM IN THE FACE! "OMG OWWWW!" he cried.

"THAT WAS FOR RUINING MY CONCENTRATION YOU STUPID IDIOT!" she yelled. Then she hit him over the head with a math book that she always carries around because LOL ALL ASIANS LOVE MATH! So anyway, Bob continued to cry when Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way looked up.

"At least you can still feel anything," she said coldly.

"How are we friends? All I ever do is whine about how depressing you are only to hypocritically break down in tears about my half decent home life roughly ten seconds later. No mentally sane person should find that to be an attractive quality," I said to her.

She shrugged. "No idea. Not only are you an obnoxious poster child of 'first world problems', but the sight of your stupid pink car has actually made me throw up thirty-six times now and come this close to a seizure twice." She walked over to the window and looked down at her black motorcycle in the parking lot. I haven't ridden it in a month because I slowly start questioning everything in life, love, space, and the afterlife everytime I do. LOL I still have no idea why Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way is such a depressing person!

RIIIIING! OH, YAY! WE WERE ONLY IN HISTORY FOR LESS THAN TEN MINUTES AND DIDN'T GET ANY WORK DONE! OMG, BUT THEN I REALIZED I WAS RUNNING LATE TO MATH AAAAHHH!

Then the bell rang again literally two seconds before I could enter the room NOOO! "MARY SUE YOU'RE LATE YOU GET DETENTION WITH GARY STU AFTER SCHOOL!" said Mrs. Wigglebottom.

I sunk to my knees in agony and yelled, "NOOO! I CAN'T HAVE DETENTION WITH MY HOT NEIGHBOR!"

Then Lee came up and ninja kicked me! "YOU SAID THAT OUT LOUD YOU STUPID IDIOT!"

REAL A/N: I absolutely had to mock the world's worst fanfiction somewhere in this horrid story. The name Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way is from My Immortal. If you decide to look it up, I hope you somehow like plotless AUs, "goffic" puns, and tear-jerking grammar. Adios.