Insert Idiotic Title Here

Chapter Four

A/N: OMG MY PARENTS ARE SO MEAN THEY TOOK AWAY MY PHONE FOR TWENTY-FOUR HOURS JUST BECAUSE I YELLED "FIGHT ME" AT MY GRANDMA'S FUNERAL! ALSO MY SISTER WAS GONNA GIVE A SPEECH, BUT I FORCED HER INTO THE CAR AND SAID "TAKE ME TO STARBUCKS OR DIE" LIKE WHAT DID I DO WRONG?!

Mary Sue's POV

"Wait, what did I do?" asked Gary Stu.

Lee raised her foot above his head, then lowered it in disappointment. "I wanted to kick you for being a stupid idiot, but...you just made a valid point." A single tear rolled down her cheek. Then she turned to the stupid teacher who just gave me a stupid detention with stupid Gary Stu who technically did nothing to earn a stupid detention...FROWNY FACE! "Mrs. Wigglebottom...can I go console myself with a bowl of noodles?"

Mrs. Wigglebottom rolled her eyes. "You have a 104% average in this class. I'm not gonna care if you invent a nuclear weapon in here."

"Thank you ma'am," she responded, bowing before she left the room.

"Wait wait wait, so I got a detention for literally no reason that anyone in this school saw, Mary Sue got one for being two seconds late to class-which we have to spend together-and Lee gets to skip class and go sulk just because she couldn't kick me? Not to mention she just kicked Mary Sue as well," ranted Gary Stu.

Mrs. Wigglebottom groaned and rolled her eyes. "Because everytime you two are alone together-and yes, I will very stupidly leave you two alone together in detention-it supposedly advances the plot and brings you closer to falling in love and getting married straight out of high school and having three kids before you can even finish college. And Lee getting a detention would do absolutely nothing at this point."

"Wait...what plot?" asked Surfer Simon. Everyone gasped. Surfer Simon was supposed to be a background character!

"Surfer Simon! The completely unmentioned extra students aren't allowed to talk! So now, I'm afraid you have no choice but to upgrade to...Gary Stu's idiot best friend!"

Surfer Simon looked at Gary Stu. "Gnarly, I guess we're bros now. Btw, what's a vowel?" Oh, Gary Stu has a best friend now! I wonder if he'll end up making out with one of my friends! LOL MY FORESHADOWING IS LIKE SO SUBTLE I'M BASICALLY A LITERARY NINJA!

And then the bell rang, just in case you forgot that this is a teen fiction school where we have never learned anything important! Speaking of which, as soon as I stepped into the hall, I saw cliché sickeningly sweet couples everywhere! OMG WHY CAN'T I HAVE ANYONE TO CONSTANTLY SHOW NAUSEATING PDA WITH EVERYWHERE?!

"See you in detention babe!" yelled Gary Stu.

"OMG GARY STU I'M MONOLOGUING!"

"What's menopause-ing?" asked Surfer Simon.

Lee was suddenly happy again when she got to kick him in the face for that! "EW THAT'S COMPLETELY DIFFERENT YOU STUPID IDIOT!"

REAL A/N: Hey, sorry I took so long. I'm just gonna say that I've been distracted by school when really I'm just naturally unmotivated, lazy, and have been procrastinating to watch CollegeHumor sketches. Speaking of which, message me if you've ever seen Precious Plum. So I'll try to update whenever I feel moderately energized. Bye.