Jaime's pov
I want to stop crying, but the tears won't stop falling. I hear Desmond whimpering, but I can't bring myself to go to him. Why does everything keep falling apart? Why do I keep losing everyone that matters to me? I flinch when I feel the mattress shift slightly and nearly push Desmond away when his tiny paw rests on my arm. As unfair as it is, a part of me blames him that my other pups weren't there anymore. If he wasn't so weak, so pathetic, so much like . . . me. I let out a choked gasp as the truth hit me, I was angry at him because he was just like me, no I was angry at myself because I was too weak to protect him. More tears slid down my cheeks when I realized that Desmond was trying to comfort me and finally pulled him into my arms, whimpering apologies and promising to protect him.
'What kind of mama am I?'
Desmond licked my arm and whined quietly and I knew I had to calm down. Taking in several shaky breaths I forced myself to relax.
"It's okay baby. Mama's sorry that he hurt you, he's just so weak and even when he wants to protect you, he . . . but mama loves you, even when it seems like he doesn't, mama . . . mama really loves you, so so much."
I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes again and Desmond squirmed in my arms. Looking down, I smiled when I realized that he'd shifted into his human form. His eyes stared into mine with a strange intensity as his mouth slowly opened.
"What is it baby? Are you hungry, tired?"
"M-Mama."
"D-Did you just say__________?"
Desmond giggled, brushing a tiny hand across my chin.
"Mama . . . mama."
"Your first word."
I closed my eyes swallowing back more tears as my resolve grew . . . I will get stronger, for this pup, for all my pups; even if I wasn't allowed to be with them. I would raise this pup with more love than the pack would ever show him, he would never for a second feel any of the pain and loneliness that I felt as part of this pack. From now on we will be each other's strength.
Eric's pov
Even though I know the truth, even though I'm afraid that history will repeat itself, I can't help but love these tiny beings inside of me. Even though I can't trust the man that put them inside of me, I can't help but wonder what they'll be like in the future. Will they be like him, power hungry and without remorse or me, full of anger and thirsty for revenge that's not theirs to seek? That's not what I want for them . . . I want them to be normal, to be happy even if we never leave this place. I shiver when a muscular arm wraps around me, pulling me against an equally strong chest and for several seconds my mind goes blank. Forcing myself to relax I pull in a quiet breath as I loosen stiff muscles and calm my racing heart. I don't know why I'm still having this reaction, it's not like anything has changed since I found out the truth . . . I still wear Markus's mark. We still share a bed and he still has complete mastery over my body and heart.
"I know you're not asleep, Eric."
I don't respond, I don't need to because he makes my body respond for me. He brushes a hand up my thigh and I shudder. He strokes my pelvis and I bite my lip to hold back a moan. Then his hand slid a little farther and I arched off the bed, crying out in pleasure as he began stroking me.
"What are you thinking about so hard?"
I chuckled at his unintentional play on words, but quickly sobered when the thought that had been running through my head the past few days returned.
"You . . . when you gave me the journal , you said my mom . . . my real mom is here . . . I want to meet him."
He stopped stroking me and I could feel his eyes burning into my skin, but I couldn't bring myself to look at him.
