Eric's pov
I still love him. I still want him close to me, but at the same time I want him to stay away. I know he can sense the distance growing between us and as much as it hurts to say, I think he's actually encouraging me to feel this way. I sense him next to me at night, as I lay between the border of sleep and wakefulness, but the next day he's gone with only his scent lingering to announce his presense, leaving me holding back tears. The only things keeping me sane are my pups and my secret visits to my mom. It took a while to get my mom to trust me, but he's slowly started to open up to me and has been telling me stories about his past and my sires. I can tell that he loves and misses both of them and his stories make me wish I could have met them. I still remember word for word what he said when I asked him how he knew he was in love with them.
"This is how you know you're in love, Eric. When you don't have to touch each other, because you're content just to be near each other. No words have to be spoken between you and yet you know what the other person is thinking . . . you can be in a room full of other people and your eyes are instantly drawn to them. When your making love to them, you're content to take your time and memorize the feel and scent of their skin and the shape of their lips, because you want to remember everything about them and when your lying next to them you instantly grab their hand or place your head on their chest just to feel the connection of their skin touching yours or the sound of their heartbeat reaching your ears. I didn't get to show my love to your sires, but they held my heart for longer than either of them will ever know."
Do I feel that way about Markus? It feels like someone is ripping out my heart every time we're apart and when I wake up and he's not beside me, it's like I can't breathe, but when I'm near him it feels like my every instinct is telling me to run. Is that how love is supposed to make you feel? Like you can't trust yourself? I hate this! I want things to go back the way they were before I found out the truth. I know it's a weakness to want to forget everything and run to the false safety of his arms, but it must be better than what I'm suffering now.
"Eric, we need to talk."
I immediately start to tremble at the sound of Markus's voice and it takes everything in me to stay seated on my bed and not run into his arms. He stares back at me with emotionless eyes and I wonder if everything he claimed to feel for me was a lie.
"I've sent for someone to take you back to your old pack. I don't want you here any longer."
"W-What?"
"You're becoming a burden to me so I'm sending you away."
Before I could process his words, he disappeared, closing the door quietly behind him. I can't breathe or move . . . is this what love feels like? Somebody please take this feeling away, I'd rather be numb forever than to feel this way for another second. No. No! After everything he's taken from me, after how much of myself I've given up to him, I refuse to let him cast me aside like I'm nothing! The paralysis my body had been suffering, quickly faded in the wake of my anger and I rise to my feet, marching down the hall to confront him. I deserve answers and Markus is going to give them to me!
Markus's pov
I rushed to make it to my office before the nausea I had been experiencing for the past few weeks overwhelmed me in front of Eric. I could feel his pain like a knife in my heart, slowly ripping it to shreds, but I'd rather him feel this pain than him watching me dying little by little everyday. I plan to leave everything to him and the pups after I'm gone, even if he doesn't take it and I've set up a trust fund for the pups so they'll never have to worry about anything when they get older. The only thing left to do is to get Eric to leave before . . . I collapse to my knees, my body too weak to support itself and Nolan whimpered in my head. Chuckling bitterly, I used the little strength I had left to link with my wolf.
'You should be happy, after all when I'm gone, you're going to have complete control of our body.'
'Why would that make me happy?! You're my other half, I can't survive without you!'
Smiling sadly, I shook my head.
'You won't even remember me.'
'What about Eric?'
'What about him?'
'You're so selfish! He loves us, we finally had everything we ever wanted and you had to throw it all away!'
I sighed wearily, time was running out . . . I was dying and none of the drugs I had used had the slightest effect . . . my consciousness was completely fading and soon Nolan would be in full control of our body. As much as I wish I had more time, nothing will stop what's meant to happen.
'It doesn't matter . . . it's too late to change things, so stop wasting the little time we have left and accept it.'
'But____________.'
A knock at the door cuts off whatever he was going to say and I force myself to my feet.
"I don't want to see you, Eric."
"I don't care what you want . . . you're trying to throw me away because you're tired of me, you at least owe me this."
"I don't owe you anything, Eric, just run back to that weak little mate of yours and________."
The nausea returns again and I drop to my knees, pressing a hand to my lips. My eyes widen as blood trickles from between my fingertips.
"Markus, what's wrong? I'm coming in."
I try to speak, to tell him to stay away, but I'm too sick to make a sound and he's soon in the room; kneeling beside me, connecting our link so I wouldn't be forced to talk.
'Why didn't you tell me?'
'And what would you have done?'
'I would have returned the favor and taken care of you.'
'Eric.'
'Is that why you've been pushing me away, because you thought I couldn't help you?'
'You're the one that's been avoiding me, Eric. You're the one keeping things from me.'
'So this is about revenge?!'
'Revenge?! Of course this isn't about revenge . . . I don't want you to see me die!'
'W-What?'
'I'm dying Eric. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I've only been getting worse.'
'But how is that even possible? Wolves can't get sick!'
I laughed quietly through our link and Eric looked up at me curiously.
'My human half is dying, Eric. The disease is only destroying my human side and soon only my wolf will be left.'
'But how is that possible? Can't your wolf heal you?'
'It's too late. There's nothing anyone can do. But I've taken care of everything, you and the pups will be well taken care of after I'm gone.'
"You lied to me . . . you told me you love me and made me fall in love with you, I don't want to feel this way anymore!"
The nausea subsiding, I weakly stood on my feet, wiping a shaky hand across my mouth.
"I'm sorry, Eric . . . I didn't want you to suffer anymore at my hands."
"Then don't send me away. Let me stay with you and take care of you. Let me love you Markus."
I wanted to refuse, but when he was crying for me, pleading with me to just let him stay by my side how could I refuse? I nodded and I saw the joy shining in his eyes that I knew I would crush with my next words.
"I won't send you away if you promise me that before I die, you'll let me erase the memories of our time together.
"No. I won't let you take away my precious memories. When you're gone I want to be able to tell our pups about you."
I nodded, and Eric smiled in victory, a victory that I would take from him . . . after my death just like my wolf the fail safe I enplanted inside of him would instantly erase all of his memories of me from his head. I know he would never understand, but this is for the best. I stole so much from him, giving him his freedom is the only act of love I have left that I can give him.
