LGBT+ Journal/Diary

It's Rebellion

Ah yes when you go to the doctor and your mother speaks about your gender. I might get counselling , though I don't like it, for my gender and sexuality.

My mother said that it's me being rebellious due to the divorce because my father is a homophobic and transphobic person.

So, me feeling like a guy is rebellion? I don't understand. She said that it's because I didn't ever complain when I was little. She said that this all started when I started hanging out with my friends.

OK why does friend choice go into this?! I had two Bi friends and the rest were and are hetero. I had a crush on a girl in seventh grade who was my friend and yet you say it's because of my friends?!

I mean she was and is still really freaking hot and I would date her in a heartbeat, but she didn't "influence " me.

Next with gender, how did my friends influence my gender? I hung out with all girls and maybe a few guys. The only reason I just started noticing and questioning my gender is because in a play I was a guy, and I love being a guy!

A theatre fam came up to me and asked why I liked being a guy? My reply "Being a guy is fun and it's just normal for me."

So she asked if I was ever going to transition. At the time I thought she meant transition to my other costume because I also played a girl so I of course said yes.

Then she said "So you're going to be trans?"

That's when I shrugged "It never really occurred to me. I just thought being a guy was normal." Because in any play that I have done I've always or mostly have been a guy!

List of some plays and role I played :
Annie : Rooster
101 Dalmatian: one of the goons
Fiddler on The Roof: Son/Daughter
Railway Children: Joan/ Male Rail worker
Narnia: Fenris Ulf/ Aslan
Dino Stomp : RAWR DINO!
Charlie and Chocolate Factory : Oompa Loompa.
Wizard of Oz : Barrister/ Jitterbug
Hairy Tale : Felicia (Italian Paparazzi)
Babe the Sheep Pig : Sheep BAA

So ya see look at that. Granted I don't get too depressed because of my who ha and jiggle things because I "act" as a girl. And I normally just care during swimming because my jiggle thing show in my swimsuit while in my normal clothes I hide them behind a sweatshirt.

What's funny is that my friend she was all like "You should rebel to show her it's not!"

And it was just funny how she was just as pissed but I was just down all day because after that stupid doctors appointment I noticed my jiggle things even hidden by the sweatshirt and yeah.