scars || njh

5

I limped out of the P.E building and down the hill to find Niall's car. I was going to go to the bathroom first to clean up but I decided against it. I didn't want to risk running into Monica, or anyone. I looked into my compact mirror that I had in my backpack. I was slightly cracked from the girls throwing my backpack but I could still see.

I had a cut on my right cheek from Monica's ring hitting my face. I swiped at it trying to removed all the dried blood. Just great, of course this had to happen right now right?

I slugged my backpack on my shoulders and walked down the hill dreading every step. I know I'm going to have to explain this cut on my face and how I got it and then I'm going to look like a massive loser. He knows that I've been bullied before but it's only recently been violent. And of course you all know he's going to ask about my dad.

Maybe I shouldn't see him. Maybe I should turn around now and walk home and forget this ever happened. Just go on living the shitty life I have were I can trust no one, I'm required to go to a shrink every Wednesday, and I'm always being checked on so I don't kill myself.

Right as I was about to turn around and just forget the whole thing I looked up and saw Niall's car. It was a black Explorer. I quickly turned around heading uphill praying to God (if there even is one because at this moment I was seriously doubting it) that he didn't see me. I cursed under my breath as I heard the sound of his horn. I tried to keep walking but I heard his engine start and he pulled up right next to me.

"Where're you going silly!" he shouted out the window.

"Away from you......" I mumbled inaudibly. He turned the car off and got out to walk to me.

"Oh my god Bella. I've missed you so much" he said as he engulfed me in a huge hug. I didn't really hug back. I merely patted his back awkwardly with one hand. He had changed. A lot.

He fixed his teeth completely and was way more buff. And instead of his old swoop hair cut he now had it in a small quiff. He was wearing a pair of normal denim jeans, a blue and black pullover, and a pair of black Nikes.

"Clearly" I said sort of rudely.

"What?" he replied with a look of confusion on his face. "Oh my god what happened to you face!" he said grabbing my chin to get a better look at my cut.

"I'll tell you later and I said clearly. As in you clearly missed me so much that you didn't call, text, or even send me an email for a year straight" I said with a straight face.

"Bella..." he sighed "You know I would have if I could of. I've just been so busy lately, and my managers don't really like me giving out any personal information. Things really took off for me. I thought you'd be proud of me..." he looked disappointed. The only disappointed one should be me for getting stuck with such a sucky friend.

"I am proud. I just don't understand why you being successful means I don't mean anything to you anymore..." I said feeling a lump rise in my throat.

"You know that's not true, you're my best friend. But please can we enjoy this time together?" he said walking over to the driver side of the door.

"Lets..." I mumbled getting into the huge vehicle and putting my backpack at my feet.

"So I can't be seen in public really so I thought we could go to my house and just hang out or something? Like old times" he said smiling.

"Sounds fine to me..." I replied quietly. "Wait, are your parents or Greg there?" Greg is Niall's older brother.

"No, but my folks will be home at about seven" he said making a left turn into his little suburban neighborhood.

"Okay"

We drove most of the way to Niall's house in silence. Niall knew that I had not usually been one to talk that much and I think he knew that he had to ease into it with me. Take things slow.

"So how has school been?"

"Fine."

"Good"

"I'm sorry if I'm being not fun it's just a lot has happened..." I said looking down at my hands.

"It's okay Bella, I understand" He said in a comforting tone. Everyone thinks they understand though, and they don't. They'll never understand what I went through and what I continue to go through. My life has been and always will be a living hell.

"I'm just so glad to see you again" he said and placed a hand on my thigh. I sucked in a huge breath and I smacked his hand off quickly.

I don't know what happened but him doing that just triggered something in me. I started thinking about my dad and everything he did and I realized I was crying.

He quickly pulled over and got out of the car to run around to my side. He opened the passenger door. "Bella! Bella! It's okay! It's okay!" he said calmingly. He pulled me into a hug and rubbed my back in a soothing way. I stopped breathing so hard and my crying quieted.

I've had these attacks before when he was still here and he always knew how to make them stop. They only happened when someone did something to me that was similar to what my father did to me. That horrible, disgusting, excuse of a human being.

I quieted down and all I heard was Niall whispering "ssshhhhh it's okay, everything's okay". He smelled like cologne mixed with vanilla scented shampoo. His strong arms wrapped around me and with one hand he stroked through my hair whispering "sshh".

Even though I could stay like this forever; I couldn't help but feel deathly embarrassed. Why was I such an awkward little shit, I couldn't have one normal conversation with anyone.

I closed my eyes and for a split second, I forgot about everything wrong with my world. I pretended this feeling would last forever, enjoying Niall and the feeling of being in his arms again.