scars || njh

22

(I'm sorry I'm basic and used Cole Sprouse lmao)

I've been here for a week already. 

It's absolute hell.

Especially the group activities; at the last one we were forced to paint. Don't get me wrong, I love sitting in a room full of depressed teenagers trying to paint a bowl of fruit as much as the next guy but I can't help but wonder what else I could be doing if I wasn't in here.

My therapist is okay but I'm sick and tired of talking about what happened, I've "walked her through the events and emotions of the day" like seven times now. I was depressed, bad stuff happened, and I tried to kill myself.

It seems simple really.

Dr. Strey said I was doing improving very well though and after maybe another week I could go home. Thank the lord.

I haven't really made any friends with the other teens, but I don't really want to either. I'm not gonna want any reminders of this place when I leave and I'm sure other people won't want any either. 

I haven't heard from Niall at all, I don't know if it's because they won't let him or he doesn't want to. For my sanity's sake...

 I'm gonna believe the first one.

*Knock Knock*

"Come in" The nurse who I really like opened the door and popped her head through. She  was an older lady, maybe 50, and she usually came to walk me to therapy or bring me dinner if I didn't want to eat in the cafeteria. We've become sort of close. I mean, as close as you can be after a week. Sometimes at night she'd even stay a past her shift to watch a movie with me. One that she brought from home of course since the TV in my room received a total of 2 channels.

"Hey Bella it's 5"

"Funny thing... I'm actually sleeping so I can't go" I said shutting my eyes and pulling a blanket over me.

"Yeah right hun, we both know you love creative writing night" she said sarcastically pulling the blanket back; leaving me exposed, and cold.

"I've already wrote about me and John Stamos falling madly in love and having a baby so, it looks like I'm really all out of ideas" I said sitting up and shrugging my shoulders.

"Write about what you had for lunch then" she said walking towards the door. I stayed perfectly still on the bed, hoping maybe if I didn't make a sound she would forget I was here and just leave.

She looked back at me.

"Come On!"

Damn, she still knows I'm here.

"Okay, jeez calm down lady" I said getting up and walking down the hall with her. "So did you see the new season of Orange is the New Black? I really don't like Alex and Piper together that much"

"Eh, I think they're kinda cute, like they'll always find a way back to each other no matter what. But the part with Red's hair getting cut, I cried"

"Ohhhh me too, the big guy is a total psycho" We walked into the recreation room. It was just a really large room with a lot of tables and chairs set up, nothing fancy. 

There was probably about 30 people who showed up for tonight so it was easy for me to find an empty table. There was a basket of paper, pencils, and a miniature thesaurus in the center.

I grabbed a piece of paper and pencil and started to draw a cat, because it was the only thing I was capable of drawing half decent. The room was fairly quiet with a few low conversations going on. That was the one good thing about being in here, it was quiet all the time. Some people might not like that but for me, it was therapeutic. 

All of a sudden everyone was completely silent so I looked up. 

A boy was walking into the room, being escorted by three nurses. It was the boy with black hair, who's room was across from me. His forearms were heavily bandaged on both sides and he had the biggest under eye bags ever. 

EVERYONE was looking at him and I felt really bad, so I looked down before he could see me staring and continued drawing my fat cat. Look at that I'm a poet and I didn't even know it. (heh)

A second later he sat down. 

At the same table as me.

Probably because that's where one of his nurse's made him sit but it also might have been because of my amazingly gorgeous face. 

He was at a seat 2 chairs down and on the opposite side of the table. He sat with his hands in his lap and didn't say anything, he didn't even look up when I stared at him.

I mean... you had to admit, he was pretty handsome.

"Hey" I said quietly leaning towards him. He only looked at the area of the table in front of me and nodded.

"I'm Bella, by the way. I think we're like hospital neighbors" He didn't even acknowledge what I said this time.

"So... What's your name?"

He sighed and looked at me, "Noah"

"Cool, like the arc"

"I guess"

"What are you gonna write about?"

"Don't know, didn't really want to be here in the first place"

"Me too, the group stuff just feels a little too summer camp-y to me"

"Yep"

"Well... you could write about John Stamos"

"Maybe"

"But you have to use his 2016 Dilf self, not full house era. He ages too well to go unappreciated"

He let out a really small laugh. Well, more of a breath, but I still felt a little proud of myself.

"Sorry I'll stop talking and let you write"

"It's fine, you're funny" I smiled a little bit and looked down and my paper. I decided to write about a cat who only eats tacos. A Mexican Garfield.

***************************************************************

For the rest of the activity we didn't talk but while walking back to our rooms he said,

"Does your TV only get Criminal Minds too?"

"Yeah! Sometimes Wheel Of Fortune on a good signal day. It's great and all but Hotch can get a little annoying" He laughed.

"The monotone-tortured detective voice does get old at times"

We already arrived at out rooms, I was a little sad. I wanted to talk with Noah more, he was pretty cool and thought my jokes were even remotely laugh worthy which was insane.

"Soo, I'll see you at Group Pottery on Wednesday?" I said standing in my door way. He thought for a second.

"Yeah, you'll see me" he gave a small smile then he walked in his room. One of his nurses closed the door. I got a peek in his room, there was almost nothing; anything that could be considered "harmful" in the slightest was taken out: the curtain rod, pens, and even his freaking pillow cases were gone.

I wonder what he did...

I walked over to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, and hopped in bed to watch TV before I fell asleep.

That's all I really did now; watch TV, go to therapy, and be anti social at group activities. At least when I get out of here I'll be an expert at all things cable shows.

I looked up at the TV. The episode where fetus Bieber gets shot was on.

I scooted down and closed my eyes, only one more week, this'll be easy.