Days after our visit to the carnival, I still couldn't wrap my head around the idea that Finn and I had mutual feelings towards each other.
It felt surreal; like I would wake up any moment and laugh at myself for believing in my subconscious' dreams.
Though, while I haven't woken up yet, I'd savor every moment of this dream.
We talk every night on the phone until our throats are dry and our phones are heating up.
He'd usually have bad signal so about 20% of our conversation is me asking "what" and him asking if I could hear him better then.
We weren't labeled, but I couldn't ask for more. I liked Finn and he liked me back, it's already more than enough for me and I wouldn't dare ask him about our status. I'm happy with the way things are between him and I.
"Finally, huh?" Lydia wiggles her eyebrows in my direction as she fixes her hair in front of the mirror.
"Finally what?" I ask, although I knew exactly what she was referring to.
She rolls her eyes, "Finally you and Finn!"
I only shrug but I could feel my cheeks heating up.
"We're not anything," I say.
"You guys are everything!" She contradicts.
If Hannah had stayed long enough, she would probably say the same thing. She had been rooting for Finn and I since that first day in 6th grade.
I remember her telling me once that I could be the one to change his player ways. I told her she read too much bad boy novels and it's setting her hopes up too high, but I have been hoping for the same thing since the thought came to mind.
I couldn't help but miss Hannah. I wonder how she's doing right now.
I fluff my hair in the mirror, but it does nothing. My hair is too flat, people often think I had it done but it's just the way my hair goes. It's both a curse and a gift.
"C'mon, I'm famished," I tell Lyd, locking my arms around hers before pulling her out of the comfort room.
"You and your posh words, Regan," she says, "Where did you get that word this time?"
"I read it in an Old English book," I chuckle.
I find interest in words that sound deep or complicated or old. I want to be able to write books someday, and I think it's only necessary that I fill my vocabulary as much and as early as I can.
We have about 30 minutes more before lunch ends so I fall in line with the rest of the students and pay for my food when it was my turn in line.
Lyd and I find an empty table and later, Margot finds us.
"Hey Regan, are you going to Finn's house tonight?" She asks.
"Hmm?" I look up from my food. I've never been to Finn's house before, but I knew it was somewhere near the school. And I knew that it was right next to Margot's, where I haven't been to as well.
"He's like inviting people to come over his place for movie night. Apparently he has a new projector in his room and wants to try it out or show it off, we never know with Finn," she shrugs.
"He hasn't mentioned anything to me," I mumble loud enough for the two of them to hear.
"Oh," Margot says, shooting Lydia a look, "Well, maybe he forgot,"
"Yeah, maybe," I say, smiling at them both. "So anyway, how about this sandwich, huh?" I ask, changing the subject.
"It's good," Lydia grins.
"Lemme have some, then," Margot says, reaching for the half slice of sandwich on Lydia's plate.
"Get your own, missy!" She giggles, but she lets Margot have it anyway.
I push the thought of Finn away. If he wanted to invite me, he would tell me.
I don't ignore him for the rest of the day, though. It's hard to ignore someone like Finn. It's like ignoring a crying child; you'd give in one way or another.
I don't confront him about his movie night either, nor does he tell me a single thing about it.
It was dismissal time when I finally gather up the courage to talk to him about it. He was rushing off, but I caught up with him.
One of his friends pass by and give him a wave, "See you later, bro!"
"Yeah!" Finn nods, waving back at him before turning his attention back to me.
"Finn?" I start.
"Yes, babe?" He smirks, leaning on the wall beside him.
All the rehearsing I've done in my head had been thrown away. My mind is blank and my voice is gone.
"I-" I stutter out. I decide then that what I think doesn't matter. I don't matter. "Have fun," I tell him instead.
He grins, "Sure babe," he says, winking at me before turning his back on me.
He doesn't call me that night, but I drown myself in books and school work instead.
I might have lashed out on Ramona five times since I came home.
YOU ARE READING
Best Exes
Fiksi Remaja"We were better off friends than we were as lovers" For 17 year old Regan Grey, life was simple; she had a loving boyfriend that her mother didn't approve of, a little sister that supported her in any way she could, and friends that understood her i...
