Love, _________

The Downside of Being Alive

Since when

Have I been happy

When did the world look

Beautiful again

There's a first for everything

My first

I look at my reflection

And smile genuinely

What have you done to me?

Why am I like this?

This poison,

This happiness,

I said save me

This is your response

This is a weakness

A vile toxin

It drowns out the pain

I'm smiling again

I woke up early

To watch the sunrise

I dream of you every night

But you're only in my nightmares

You try

To scare my fears away

The terrifying part is when

You succeed

How can I deal with this?

I expect to fall and crash

Now I'm only flying

You did this to me

With those soft words

And breathy tones

With sultry stories

And dark intentions

Why am I addicted to you?

What have I done to you?

Put you in submission

Beat you down to my will

How is that fair?

How can this happen?

I've bent and broken your will

But you're still

Not mine to keep

How is that fair?

Don't you look me in the eye

You're a better man

But I'm playing pretend

Don't remind me I'm worthless

How is that fair?

I am a temptress

Successful in my putrid tasks

You're a liar and cheat

That's what I've done for you

How is that fair?

I'm not better

"I love you too :)"

And I lied

Because I don't love him at all

All I smell is you

Your kiss invades my sleep

Your words haunt me

You're making me sick

Why you

Why you

Why you

Why

Why me

You should've left me alone

I'm that loose cannon

I've taken my love

And pointed it straight at you

Love is a disease

It kills in the most beautiful ways

As it fills us with smoke

Aren't I beautiful

Covered in scars

And ripped skin

If you love these cuts

Would you mind if I entered more

Into my disgusting canvas

That's all I am

A disturbed painting

Of what could've been

You tried to help

But my colors kept bleeding

Along with my wrists

I haven't cut

Because your voice stops me

With sentences

Dancing around in foreign tongues

They make me melt

What have you done to me?

My face can't remember

How to smile

So why am I

My eyes are dry

For the first time

My knees are weak

From your touch

My voice trembles

As I say

More

But it's strong when I whisper

I love you

Because I do

I told you to never forget that

Because I don't know how long

I'll be able to play along

I'm your teacher

Teaching you how

To be my whore, how

To sneak around, how

To enjoy risk

Do you realize what

You've taught me

How to smile

How to laugh

How to feel that desire

You taught me how to live

I taught you how to die

How is that fair?

My darling

I love you

I love you

And I hate you

For making me feel again

Because everything

Comes with a price

We'll have our love

At the cost of their

Shattered hearts

Too much pain to handle

You'll leave me when it falls apart

But that's ok

Because I'll have fallen apart

Too

Since when

Did I fall in love with living

And when did I fall in love

With you?