Love, _________

Evanescent Melodies

I hear that singing voice

And smile to myself

I'm selfish

I haven't shared this band

Because you said you'd sing them

To me

If we ever got a chance to be alone

Will you keep your promise

Even though we have our own

That would be bent

If such a chance arises

Self control was never

My strong suit

Especially with you involved

Your first words to me

When no one else could hear

Were the only words

I've always had trouble believing

"You're really hot"

And the next words were

"You're joking right"

But two months later

I know the jokes up

You find beauty in my beaten

And bent frame

In my rusting bones

And crumbling eyes

I won't ask why

Because I probably won't understand

But if my addictions

Are invited to this party

Then I know I won't leave

Without a few bruises

I promised him faithfulness

Does it make it better

That you swore her the same thing

Is it ok if we break the same promise

They say two wrongs

Don't make a right

But I haven't been trying

To make right

Any of my blatant mistakes

I'm your only mistake here

You should've found another

Pretty smile

To fall for

Because mine is evanescent

You commented it on it once

Saying how you couldn't

Fake a smile

As bright as I could

And for some reason

The truth came out

"I've been practicing for four years

I should be good by now"

Your face fell

So I looked away

To avoid the pain of another

Broken heart

You put a hand on my shoulders

You understand the reasons

People wear these smiles

Pinned to walls

To couches

Hands closing around my throat

Nails digging too deep

And pinching

In place of teeth

How far can we go with restrictions

The lust in your eyes

Asks me

I weigh out pros and cons

But my one track mind focuses

Only on how I feel

Throwing it all to the wind

And holding you against a wall

Pinning you by your neck

Causing your skin to bruise

And moans to escape

We needed to stay silent

That rule was broken

By my turned on gasps

They begged for more an more

Just like you did

I don't know if I could've handled

Any more

All these memories

Lurk in my mind

They're revealed by words

You swore you'd sing to me

So I'll memorize every beat

And sing it to myself

Because somewhere inside me

It tells me

Even with our dreams

And our hopes

And even what we've committed

This far

We will never end up reaching

Where we want to be

I'll let the band sing to me sleep

In your place

And have the phantom feeling

Of your hands covering my body

As I close my eyes

And continue to dream

Of the things we'd do alone

If our chance ever arose