Candles

42 | F A I T H

I TWISTED THE RING ON my finger and did not even try to hide the smile on my face. A part of me knew it was from Sydney but the other part of me did not want to believe it. Why would she leave me this after everything I had done to her? I pushed her away; yet, she left this ring behind for me to find. It was a simple gift but it meant the absolute world to me. Wiping the sweat from my forehead, I sat down on the edge of my bed to admire the ring some more. I felt bad for kicking her to the curb and taking her gift like this; however, I refused to call her and apologize. I had just gotten back from Jillian's funeral and I felt numb everywhere. I did not want to call Sydney and say something I would soon enough regret.

The sound of footsteps caused me to turn my head and Greysen stepped into the room. He heaved a hand through his hair before leaning against the wall. Out of the two of us, he looked like he was going through the worst. During the ceremony, he could not stay seated. He got up and stormed out before anyone could convince him to sit back down. I found him crying in the restroom and decided to stay in there with him. We both sat on the floor for the remainder of the service in absolute silence. He quietly sobbed and I was there to comfort him. I did not cry at all during the service. Was it such a crime that I did not shed a single tear? That I felt no emotion when they carried the coffin out of the church?

"You just leave that thing laying around any kind of way?" Greysen asked, referring to my shotgun that was currently laying in the middle of my bed.

I had fired a few rounds as soon as I came back to the house. There were not any bullets in it as of right now but he obviously did not know that.

"It isn't going to shoot itself," I reassured him.

He laughed half heartedly, "Do you have any plans for the night?"

"Does staring at the ceiling in a daze count as having plans?"

"Depressing," he muttered. "That's real depressing, Styles."

I shrugged my shoulders, not really giving a damn. Honestly, I was just trying to make it through the day without breaking down and losing my mind. I did not think about doing anything tonight because it never crossed my mind. However, looking at Greysen, I knew he was going to need some kind of distraction. Ever since her death, he had only been in his house twice. I let him crash on my sofa because he claimed he did not want to be alone with his haunting thoughts. Jillian was like a sister to him and it was tough.

"Okay," I tapped my fingers together. "What would you like to do tonight, my friend?"

He perked up at my question and I knew he had been waiting for me to ask. I enjoyed going out but I also enjoyed staying inside and watching a movie of some sort to get my mind off of the tragedies in my life. My lips twitched upward into a smile as he plopped down on the bed beside me, loosening the tie around his neck.

"I need to dance," he said. "I need to dance to loud music with a woman by my side and a nice glass of bourbon in one hand. I also need to eat some food. So, like, if we could stop somewhere and get a nice burger on the way...yeah, that would be nice."

Nudging him with my elbow, I chuckled, "Are you telling me you want to go to the club?"

"Want is an understatement," he frowned and he grabbed my shoulders, shaking me viciously. "I need to go to the club."

"All right," I nodded my head. "We'll go but not for long, though. I'm tired."

Greysen stood up and hurried out of the room before I could even take my next breath. I stood up and followed him, not even bothering to change out of my clothes from the funeral. If people saw how dark and depressed I looked, they would leave me alone and everyone would be satisfied. I took my time getting down the stairs and I heard the toilet flushing in the bathroom. Waiting on Greysen, I made sure my fish were doing all right. With everything that had been going on, I only had time to feed them and nothing else. The tank itself was getting dirty and I was going to have to clean it soon.