Candles

12 | H O M E B O U N D

TWO FULL WEEKS HAD PASSED by and I had not said a single word to Harry or Jillian. I kept my head down and I constantly reminded myself of how I was a danger to the world. As long as I knew how dangerous I was, I was able to ignore the two of them without a single problem. I spoke with Clare rarely but she did not seem to pick up on anything strange. She just went about her day like any other. I no longer ate lunch with Harry because I always slipped out of the shop before he even had the chance to catch up to me. Even though I ignored him, he still tried to talk to me. I would only walk off and not look back. Why was he so oblivious?

It was Saturday, which meant I had today and tomorrow to recollect myself before going back to work on Monday. I was in bed and I did not feel like doing much today. I was emotionally and physically exhausted. These past two weeks had worn me out and I did not do much. Who knew ignoring someone could be so hard and tiring? If I had known earlier, I would have just quit my job instead. I did not have time to be tired. I had to constantly be on my feet. I had to constantly look over my shoulder.

Two full weeks had passed by and nothing had happened. There were not any signs that they had found me. Were they even looking for me? I knew they were but did they even know where to start looking? Of course, they knew where my mother and Jett lived. I got them out of the house in enough time, though. If they went to look in the house, they would have found it empty. If they found it empty, they probably tore the place apart with rage. The home I once knew was probably gone and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

My eyes never left the ceiling and I felt somewhat ashamed. Instead of enjoying my Saturday, I was hiding away behind closed doors in my bedroom. I was hiding away from the truth and I was hiding away from anything that made me feel uneasy. A lot of things made me feel uneasy and it was time for me to bury them in the ground. If I was going to start over, I had to forget about everything from my past. I had to move on. Seattle was my new home and Portland was just a memory that was supposed to be fading away.

I exhaled slowly and removed the blanket from my body. I sat up and grabbed my phone, dialing my mother's number and hoping she would not pick up. My back was against the headboard and my knees were up to my chest. The phone was on speaker and each time the phone ringed, my heart fell deeper and deeper into my stomach. I knew I had to do this but it was hurting me. The pain was excruciating and there was no one here to comfort me after this was over. I already had an idea of how this conversation was going to go and the thought of it made me want to hang up and throw my phone across the room. I did not want to cause anymore pain—

"Hello?"

I looked down at my phone and my lips parted. What was I supposed to say? How was I supposed to say it? I wanted to hang up and I had the power to do so. If she called back, I would tell her I called by accident. The idea sounded marvelous and I almost went along with it. Key word?

Almost.

"Gwen—Sydney, are you there?"

"Yeah," I finally spoke, going against my marvelous idea.

"What is it, sweetheart? You sound troubled. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," I lied. "I just wanted to make sure you and Jett were all right. Is the hotel okay? Are you being treated with respect?"

She laughed, "All of us are fine, even the dog. We're just staying inside today because of the heat. Your brother is sleeping by the air vent and he hasn't moved in the past hour or so. I bet he's really comfortable down there on the floor."

"He isn't dead, is he?"

Her laughing increased, "I don't think so. Now, tell me why you really called. I know you and I know you sound like the world is going to end when something is bothering you. What's bothering you? Tell me."