"Alright Keen, what do you want?" Ressler's voice was irritated as they finished their simple small talk. They sat awkwardly at Liz's kitchen table on the only two chairs in her apartment. she tried to look confused at his comment, though he didn't look convinced.
"Come on. At work, you barely gave me a second thought, and all of a sudden you invite me over for dinner. What are you up to?" He asks trying to keep eye contact. He figured if she wouldn't say what's wrong, her eyes would. She put on her most convincing face and responded.
" I just moved to a huge city and you're the one person I know." She tried her best to make it sound like a real excuse, but he still had a suspicious look on his face.
"Alright," she sighed, figuring it'd be better to just rip off the band-aid. "I'm going to find Reddington."
He rolled his eyes, and breathed quietly as he shook his head. "You know the FBI's already on it. If you came back to work, you would actually do a great of help. No one knew him like you." She laughed inside at this remark. Sure she spent more time with him than anyone else, but she knew just as much as everyone else.
"Yes, but what happens once they find him?" She says raising an eye brow.
She got up to get a glass of water, as Ressler continued talking. "Things will be just as they were before. Him giving you crap intel and us saving the day at the last minute." He joked trying to make it a lighter conversation, but once he saw Liz's glare, he instantly regretted it.
She stood at him staring before she came back to the table. "you expect me to believe that after the mess in DC, after the lives we lost, that he'd be a free man? She paused to lower her tone. "He'd be a prisoner."
Ressler sighed as he thought about her point. He remembered Reddington's speech in the box about sailing the ocean with no land in sight, and how he wanted to have one more meal in Paris. He was never fond of Red, but he couldn't take that away from him.
"So how would you finding him be different?" He asked, starting to get more interested.
"Well for starters I wouldn't lock him up..." She smiled but Ressler interrupted.
"Liz, even if you do manage to find him, the FBI will use you to get to him. And what would you do once you found him? Play catch up, and politely ask for him to come back?"
"He can't come back they'll lock him up." Liz paused realizing where his point was going.
"Well if you aren't going to bring him back, then what's the point in finding him?" He asked trying to keep eye contact, but she looked away. She didn't have an answer, and she knew it. She never had a reason to find him. She just needed to.
"Ressler, I'm going to find Red. I need to." She breathed, her voice getting weak.
He sat for a second, observing her and her expression.
"Where's Tom?" He asked gently, being careful because he already knew the answer.
"Nebraska." She said, so quietly, it was almost a whisper.
"Does he know? That you're here? What you're doing...?"
"No," she said sternly.
He sighed deeply in confusion. "Why is Reddington so important to you? He's a criminal, who chose you as his victim." Liz tensed at that word. 'Victim.' He'd done nothing wrong; he'd done nothing to hurt her. If anything, he'd saved her life, multiple times.
Ressler continued. "He tore apart you marriage, put you in danger time and time again. He took advantage of you position to make a deal. Not to mention how he took advantage of your feelings." This last sentence felt like a stab to Liz.
"Excuse me?" she snapped.
"Oh please, I have eyes. I saw you two hitting it off from day one. Everyday I could see you falling more and more for his deceiving smile."
She couldn't deny the fact that she enjoyed his company. Or the fact that just a simple brush of hands would make her mind race. But she'd always told herself it was the proximity. If you spend a lot of time with a guy, of course things will get a bit flirty. Anyone would have felt the same way.
"I don't know what you thing my 'feelings' are for him, but you're wrong. Now I'm going to find him, and I can't do this alone." she said prompting him for a response.
He paused, seriously considering the idea. "How do you plan to find him? If Reddington doesn't want to be found, he won't. It's that simple."
"He'll let me find him." And I will, she thought, if it's the last thing that I do.
