One Way || Phan

Part 11.

*Dan's POV*

"I have to talk to you."

My lesson, maths, had just ended and everyone was busy packing their stuff together. My classmates were talking pretty loudly, but as soon as his voice cut through the air and made its way to my ears, everyone else's voices seemed to become silent. Normally someone talking to me only made me want to disappear so I wouldn't have to face whatever I had to do, but I immediately knew this was Phil and I was just so shocked. I couldn't believe he was actually standing there, talking to... me.

I hadn't actually thought my plan was going to work. I had been hoping it would, of course. But a part of me had kept telling me it was ridiculous, that it was a waste of my time. But here he was, and I immediately felt the tension in the air. 

I turned around, immediately catching his deep, blue yet cold eyes. I felt all kinds of emotions at the same time and remembered exactly why I had fallen for him. Everything about him was so attractive. The only thing missing on his face was a smile. I have never seen him this serious, his lips in a straight line and no sign of happiness on his face. Not a good sign. 

I opened my mouth but forgot what to say. Was I the one who was supposed to say something first?

"P-Phil," I muttered eventually, feeling my cheeks burn.

Phil didn't say a thing. His eyes narrowed and he tilted his head slightly like he was inspecting me, causing my social anxiety suddenly to double. 

"So, if I'll work with you on the project, do you promise me that you won't try to kiss me again?" He snapped, taking a step back.

I hadn't exactly expected him to immediately ask that question, so it left me speechless, my jaw dropping a bit. What was I supposed to say? 'I'll try?'

"Yes... I-I mean no, no I won't do it again. I'm sorry." I responded, realizing how awkward this was and mentally punishing myself because that was probably the stupidest thing I could have said, of all things that are not okay to say to someone who hates you already. I looked down and bit my lip.

Phil nodded approvingly and smiled slightly, so I forced myself to smile back. It probably looked more like a goofy grin because I had no idea what to do.

"Okay then. But this doesn't mean anything. I'm doing this for the project, and for the project only. After that, I don't want to see you ever again."

My heart still shattered a little when hearing him say that, but I could have expected it. I nodded vigorously and we both were silent for a couple of seconds before Phil simply turned around and walked away without saying something else. I watched him until he disappeared around the corner and sighed relieved.

I had no idea how I should be feeling at that moment. The fact that something I had planned actually turned out successful for once in my life surprised me. Okay, Phil and I still weren't friends, but that's not what I expected. At least I could be around him again, try to gain his trust and we might become friends again. Okay, probably not, but I was allowed to dream, right?

I smiled a little at the thought while I finally walked away too, on my way to geography.

-

Two days later I was sat on my bed, together with a black-haired boy, surrounded by several snacks and our sketchbooks.

We weren't talking, just sat cross-legged opposite each other, sketching and writing down ideas for the project in our sketchbooks, occasionally taking a sip of our drinks. It was nice, I have to admit. I loved Phil's presence, and the way he poked his tongue out when he was drawing with such concentration made me feel, man. It was just so... cute, but I wasn't telling him of course. Not after what happened.

So instead, I concentrated on my own drawing. I had drawn a little boy, standing in the rain. He was looking down and you could see his reflection in the puddle of water he was standing in. It was a very colourful drawing, the colours I had used were bright and clear. The reflection of the puddle showed the same picture, but in black and white, causing it to appear much sadder. 

"That's awesome!" Phil said suddenly, taking my sketchbook and turning it around so he could take a better look at it.

"Thanks," I responded, happy he liked it. "I was thinking, maybe we could paint this large-sized on canvas."

I used my hands to indicate the size I was thinking of and Phil nodded enthusiastically.

"I really like the message behind it, too..." Phil said softly, while he stared down at the sketch.

I bit my lip. Phil didn't know he had been my inspiration for this drawing. The happy, cheerful colours showed the boy always pretending to be happy, while the reflection in the puddle showed the truth, how he really felt. Sad and broken, hiding it from the world. Just like Phil, happy on the outside, broken on the inside. I had hoped Phil would realize the boy was kind of like him, and I think he did. His whole attitude changed.

I smiled at him, reassuringly. Phil smiled back at me, a small smile filled with sadness.

"I think we have done enough work for today," I said, changing the subject. "Shall we, ehm, do some gaming?"

Phil shook his head.

"I have to go." He simply said, closing his sketchbook. He stood up and I did the same, slightly disappointed he was leaving.

We walked downstairs together and I stood awkwardly in the hallway, watching him put on his jacket. When he had finished I opened the door for him, unsure what to say.

"Well, uhm, see you tomorrow then?" Phil asked as soon as he stepped outside. I just responded by nodding and mumbling a small "bye" before Phil walked away. 

It was raining heavily, large teardrops were coming down from the sky, making the world look grey and sad. I realized no one was here to pick Phil up, so he had to walk home, in the rain. I hesitated. Should I run after him and let him stay at mine until the weather had cleared up a bit?

I could have done it, but instead, I stared at Phil, who was standing in a puddle, looking down at his own reflection. Just like the boy I had drawn.

I shut the door slowly after I decided to not run after Phil. Then I walked upstairs, crashing down on my bed.

Phil definitely needed my help, and I still had no idea what to do.

[A/N: I hope this part is okay, it took me a while to write this and I have no idea if i'm happy with it tbh. :3]

Edited: 24/2/2018