One Way || Phan

Part 5.

*Dan's POV*

We had been playing some games for a while now. Phil kept beating me at Mario Kart, I really had underestimated him. He was way better than I thought. Losing usually annoyed me, but this was Phil beating me, and I just couldn't be annoyed with him. He was so cute when he won. He laughed and looked happy and I completely forgot to worry about the way he acted earlier.

When he beat me for the eighth time in a row, I groaned and let myself fall back on his bed and acted like I was angry at him and didn't want to talk to him anymore. He just laughed at me and I turned my face into his pillow, making it look like I was giving up. It was also a good excuse to take in his smell. My god, he smelled like raspberry. Why did that make him even cuter?

"Dan?" I heard him say, amusement in his voice.

I shook my head in his pillow.

"Daaan, come on, don't be so childish!"

I looked up from his pillow and turned around to see a bright smiling Phil.

"Do you want to play some more?" He said teasingly, handing me the controller.

"No, I can't beat you so why bother and try it..." I grinned.

I looked at him for a moment, and he looked back at me. It was a silent moment between us, and it just felt very comfortable. I was slowly drowning in his form. 

What happened next is something that I'll never forget, because I just didn't know how it happened. One moment I was staring into his eyes, and the next moment and I had tackled him in a big hug and felt his warm body pressing onto mine. And for some reason, I started to lean in.

*Phil's POV*

"No, I can't beat you so why bother and try it..." I heard Dan say.

We were playing games in my room, both sitting on my bed – well, Dan was lying down actually – and he had just lost again.

Asking him to come over had been a good choice. I felt bad for not coming to school today, but I had no choice since moving my body was incredibly painful due to the beating. I hesitated to ask him at first because I didn't know if Dan would notice anything, but it was really fun being with him and it helped me keep my mind off of my dad. My dad was gone anyway so I was alone and this was a good distraction. Doing nothing all day sounds great but when you're worrying about things it's more stressful than relaxing so I was happy Dan was here next to me.

We looked at each other for a moment. Then I suddenly felt his hands touching my arms, sliding upwards to my back and the next moment he launched himself forward on top of me, hugging me like his life depended on it. I tried not to squirm as the bruises on my back screamed.

Surprised, I tried to sit up again, thinking this was one of his stupid revenge actions for me beating him again, but his eyes... it looked like they stared directly into my soul and I couldn't pull back.

Then he started to lean in, his pink lips moving closer to mine. With every second the inches between our lips became less and less and I started to question things more and more. What on earth was happening? Was Dan really doing this?

I wouldn't mind if he did.

No, this wasn't right. I couldn't. I wasn't gay, I wasn't in love with Dan. This was wrong. 

Our lips were almost touching when I pulled back. I almost hit my head on the wall as I quickly sat up and crawled backwards, my heart racing in my chest. Dan looked at me, his eyes confused and obviously hurt. I started to feel myself panicking and I tried to steady my breathing while avoiding Dan's gaze. He didn't seem to know how to react to this either.

It took me a brief moment to find the ability to speak.

"You need to leave," I whispered, looking down. "Please, leave."

Dan looked at me for a second, hurt written across his face and then stood up, swung his backpack over his shoulder and quietly left the room. I wasn't sure, but I think I saw a single tear running down his cheek when he left.

I waited till I couldn't hear him anymore. I groaned as I let myself fall down on my bed. I couldn't help but feel incredibly guilty, although it wasn't my fault. Well, I'm not sure – but it really looked like he was going to kiss me. We were so close. And it didn't feel bad.

But why. I wasn't gay, I didn't like boys. Never liked one. Then, why did Dan make me feel like this?

Whatever I felt, I knew we could never be a thing. Even if I liked him – which I didn't – we couldn't be a thing. My dad would never allow it. He would make my life even more miserable. This couldn't be a thing. I had to tell Dan to stop. This had to stop. Now, before it got even worse.

*Dan's POV*

I had completely screwed everything up. Everything. Oh god, I was so stupid. So incredibly stupid.

When Phil told me to leave, I knew this was it. I wouldn't get another chance. Why? Why did I do it? It was like a blur. The whole thing was a blur. I remember him being close to me and before I knew it I tried to kiss him. Of course, he rejected me. When he pulled back I realized what I had done and I won't ever forget the look on his face.

When I left the room, I felt I had begun to cry. I didn't want Phil to see me like that. I don't want him to know that this hurts so much. He would only pity me more, avoid me, hate me even.

With absolutely no idea where I was going, I walked down the streets of Manchester. It didn't matter though. Nobody liked me. Nobody cared, because nobody knew me.

Tears were streaming down my face. I had to tell Phil it was a mistake, that I didn't mean to do it. I didn't know if it was worth it, if he would believe me, but the thought never trying hurt. I just couldn't leave it like this. 

I sat down on a bench and unlocked my phone. It was hard to see the screen clearly due to the tears and Iviolently tried to wipe them away. When I looked at my phone again, I saw I already received a message from Phil. I opened it with trembling hands. 

'I'm sorry Dan, but I think we should stop talking. Stop being in each other's lives. It's for the better. I'm so sorry.'

No, this couldn't be it. I tried to reply to his message.

'Phil please let me explain it, I didn't mean to do it, it was a mistake, I'm really sorry but you have to believe me!'

When I clicked 'send', an error appeared.

'Error: SMS not delivered, this number has blocked you.'

That's when I broke down even more.

[A/N: I'm still not sure where this story is going, I basically change plans every chapter so we will just see I guess XD I have no idea how I'm going to end it yet, I hope I know soon :3

It's probably going to be pretty short, like 15 chapters? That's because I got an idea for another phanfic, and I'm really looking forward to writing that one. But first I want to finish this one, then I'll see if/how I'm planning on writing the other one.

Anyways, thanks for reading :3]

Edited: 26/9/2017