One Way || Phan

Part 19.

[A/N: Sorry you had to wait so long for it, but here's the final chapter of this story!]

*Phil's POV*

1 year later

Although the blinds were drawn, small rays of sunshine made their way through the window and lit up the whole room. The sudden, almost golden, light caused me to wake up and after a few seconds, I remembered I was in Dan's room, holding the most beautiful boy – my boyfriend – in the world in my arms and I smiled, a feeling of pure happiness running through my veins. Dan was still asleep, his soft, rhythmic snores filled the room and I just couldn't get tired of listening to them. No, far from that. I loved to listen to his breathing and it was just the cutest thing ever, although he never wanted to admit that.

It was Saturday today, so we could do whatever we wanted to do. I decided to wait for him to wake up instead of getting out of bed already since I was pretty comfortable laying next to him like this. I could lie next to him forever, and some days that was actually the only thing we did; cuddling in bed for hours watching series and frankly, those were the best moments of my life.

I almost fell asleep again, before I felt Dan stirring next to me and when he turned around to face me he gave me that beautiful smile of his and god, every time he did that, it felt like I fell in love with him over and over again.

"Morning," He whispered, before yawning loudly and I grinned.

"Morning to you too, beautiful," I said. Dan always said he hated that nickname, but the way he slightly blushed and tried to hide it was just too cute, so I kept calling him beautiful.

"What are we going to do today?" Dan asked me and I shrugged. 

"Whatever you want to do," I answered and Dan thought about it for a second.

"Surprise me," he then said, with the most innocent grin ever on his face. "I want to go somewhere. I don't care where, but I want you to take me somewhere today."

It wasn't that hard for me to decide where to go. An idea immediately popped up in my mind and I smiled, knowing Dan was going to love it. Dan had always told me he wanted to go to the beach for some reason, but we never had time to do it, since it was going to take a while to get there as well. But today was a perfect day for it; we had enough time, the weather was nice and I was sure it was going to be a success.

"I know somewhere we can go," I said with a mysterious voice, trying to make it sound a bit more exciting, but failing horribly while doing so. Dan laughed at my stupidity and shook his head and I pretended to be hurt by him laughing at me, which caused him to only laugh harder and eventually I started laughing as well. 

"Well, what are you waiting for? Get dressed!" I told him and we both got out of bed to get changed and eat some breakfast. Dan was clearly very excited and kept asking me where we were going, but I didn't tell him anything. I knew he didn't like surprises and his allegedly annoyed face was priceless. I predicted a trip of Dan whining and asking things about the destination all the time until he knew exactly where we were going because it always went like that. I simply couldn't keep surprises from Dan, but this time I was determined to not spoil anything and keep my mouth shut.

The trip to the beach went by fairly quickly, considering the distance. Dan and I talked a lot like we usually did, about a lot of random things like music, TV shows and food. In public, we didn't look like a couple at all, more like best friends. I knew we weren't the perfect stereotype couple but that was okay. The way we were was perfect to me and I didn't care if we were supposed to act differently because as long as we did what felt right it couldn't really bother me.

Dan's eyes started to sparkle when we arrived at the beach and I swear, sometimes he really still was a little kid. He hugged me tightly and then grabbed my wrist to drag me along to the sea. He clearly didn't want to wait any longer.

It was a nice day. It wasn't cold, but not very warm either. The sun shone brightly and warmed up the water a bit. When Dan noticed this he convinced me to pull off our shoes so we could walk through the sea, barefoot. I hesitated a bit at first, I didn't really feel like getting wet feet but Dan's puppy eyes made me forget my doubt and a few minutes later we were walking through the water together, along with the beach. There weren't many people which surprised me a bit, considering the nice weather, but I didn't mind at all. Our hands were brushing together all the time and it seemed the right moment, so I took his hand in mine and allowed our fingers to intertwine, and at that moment I knew this was happiness. I had never been happier in my entire life.

Funny how my life had been so different, just one year ago. It amazed me how many things could change in just twelve months time, and how much better things have gotten in such a short period.

I had always been so extremely scared to give away too much information about myself. Although I didn't realize, I had been living in complete isolation all my life, just to make people like me. I had always been scared people didn't like me anymore if I showed them my true self.

And then Dan entered my life and made things so much more difficult for me. For the first time I was confronted with myself and my goals and for the first time, I started to realize that I had to change the way I was living to be who I really wanted to be, and not who other people wanted me to be.

That realization had made a big impact on my life because I knew I was going to lose friends when I opened up and showed who I really was, and that was just the worst thing that could happen to me. At least, that's what I thought at the time.

So the question was: how much am I willing to give up for Dan? How much am I willing to put at risk to be together with this boy, and am I willing to accept myself if I do so?

And I was scared. So scared of love. I didn't want to get too attached to someone because as soon as I did I was vulnerable. I was scared people I loved would leave me if they found out about my real life, about the real me, and then leave me. That way I would be left with the broken pieces, and I wasn't sure if I could handle that.

It's easier said than done, not falling in love. I fooled myself, told myself I wasn't in love, but I had always known, deep down, I was. There isn't such a thing as stopping love. It's stronger than anything and love always wins.

As soon as I accepted that, my life started to fall into place. All the questions, all the uncertainty, all the fear slowly disappeared and it felt right. There had always been one way this could have ended; this way. It would always have led to this moment, whatever turns your life took, it would always get better and lead to your dreams. Sometimes it would take a while, sometimes you would get lost, but in the end, you would reach your goal and it would be fine, definitely worth all the effort.

And it was this exact moment, the beach, the sand between our toes, the calming waves of the water, Dan's warm hand in mine, all our slow movements which I was very aware of suddenly, where my life has led to and I suddenly realized that. It had always been supposed to go this way. Some things are just uncontrollable, no matter how hard you try, it will always end up the way it was supposed to end and this was how my years in isolation were supposed to end. I smiled. Dan noticed I did so and he smiled as well. I bet he just felt as happy as me at that moment.

"I feel special," Dan suddenly said. It was more like a whisper, but I could hear his words perfectly well and they kept repeating themselves in my head. I answered him with the only two words that were appropriate in this situation, at this moment. 

"You are."

Edited: 26-2-2018