Relativity Falls- Season Two

Into the Bunker

Dan and Ford were watching a zombie movie in Dan's room. They sat at the foot of Dan's bed, a bowl of popcorn between them.

"What do we do, Chadley?!" The woman on TV asked fearfully. The mic was visible in the corner of the screen. "I thought they were dead!"

"Far worse, Trixandra!" The man said. "They're... Nearly Almost Dead But Not Quite!"

The title of the movie appeared on screen. Trixandra screamed.

"Man, these movies are a lot less scary when you've actually fought real zombies," Ford said.

"They're slow! Just power walk away from them!" Dan shouted at the TV.

"How much you wanna bet that guy dies first?" Ford asked, poking Dan in the side with his elbow. A chomping sound was heard from the TV.

"Ah! My face is being eaten a lot!" Chadley yelled.

Ford and Dan laughed.

"Chadley ain't pretty no more," Dan chuckled. Just then his phone beeped with a text message. "One second." He looked at his phone. "Ugh, another message from Stacey."

"Oh yeah, Stacey," Ford remembered. "How's, uh, how's all that going?"

He stuffed a handful of popcorn in his mouth awkwardly.

"I'm over her, I just wish she was over me," Dan rolled his eyes. "Just look at these texts!" He showed Ford his phone, which had a picture of Stacey and a ';(' next to it. "I mean, winky frown? What does that even mean?"

"And you're not," Ford faked a cough, "you're not seeing anybody else, or...?"

"Of course I am," Dan said. "Meet my new girlfriend, dude."

He pulled over a stuffed teddy bear his mom had given him for Valentine's day. Ford laughed nervously.

"Right, right," he said. "So, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to- maybe if, you know, you and me, whatever. I mean if maybe you," he looked at Dan, who was chewing a handful of popcorn and looking at him in confusion. Ford grimaced, looking away, "wanted to join Stan and me on this mystery hunt tomorrow. Conspiracy stuff and all that, you know..."

"Yeah dude, I love doing stuff with friends!" Dan smiled and turned his attention back to the TV. "Yo Chadley, watch out!"

"Yup, because that's what we are," Ford said quietly. He pulled a note out of his pocket. It was a note confessing his crush on Dan. "That's all we'll ever be..." He crumbled the note up and stuffed it in his pocket. He laid back on the bed. "Friends..."

"Dude, you're laying on my boxers," Dan said. Ford screamed.

-----

At the nearly-destroyed Mystery Shack, men were working to fix it up. Mabel supervised them, wearing a tank top, pajama shorts, and her eyepatch. She watched as a man used a rope to stand the totem pole up.

"Be careful with that, please!" Mabel called to him. "It's genuine plastic! And could someone repave the cracks in the parking lot?" She looked at the chasm in the ground. "I would prefer if my car didn't fall into China!"

"Ms. Pines, what exactly caused all this damage?" A man asked, walking over with a clipboard. "I need to write a report."

"Uh, big woodpecker," Mabel lied. The Mystery Shack sign fell down behind her. She slipped some money into the worker's shirt pocket. "Keep the change." She tapped on her eyepatch. "I'm winking under my eyepatch."