Dear Josh - Josh Dun FanFiction

- two -

"So how was your walk honey" My mother asked as a sat on the couch.

"It was nice, I went to the cafe and sat there for a little while" I thought It might be best I didn't mention Joshua. Mum would go crazy and want every detail. Since it was a boy, she would probably start picking out a dress for a wedding.

"Did you see anyone while you were there?" She said while taking a sip of her tea.

"No not really, it was really busy so I couldn't talk to anyone"

Mum I met a hot guy and he's prettier than watching the sunset on a beach. He has hair that's the colour of the ocean and his eyes are a deep brown that I could get lost in.

I need to get a hold of myself I only just met the guy.

"Mum I'm going to have a lay down, I'm quite tired" I said as I left the room and headed for my bedroom.

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As I sat on the end of my bed, pain shot up my chest. It felt like I had been stabbed. I screamed in pain and fell to the floor. I felt vomit come up my throat so I reached for my bucket. Dad burst into my room and instantly came to my side. He comforted me until I felt a little better. Then a coughing fit started. Dad would hold the prongs that sit in my nose to help me breathe and rubbed my back.

The phlegm I coughed up turned into blood. Which always scared me.

Tears ran down my face as I hid in my father's chest.

"I'm sick of this dad, I want to die. Every day this gets worse. They won't start chemo yet. Why won't the cancer take me already. I can't live like this anymore". I felt my father's grip on me tighten, I could hear that he had started to cry. No father ever wanted to see their daughter like this. They never wanted to hear her say she wanted to die. Every father want their daughter to grow happy and healthy. To never be heartbroken. They all want to see their child follow their dreams and achieve their goals in life.

My father was unlucky. His daughter was going to leave him one day. Not to move out and have a family and live her life. His daughter was going to have a funeral before he has his own.

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I woke to my mother shaking me, her face was close to mine and she had a worried look on her face.

"Emma honey, your doctor called. They want you to start chemotherapy next Monday. And this will happen every week from then on" I nodded and she hugged me. Ever since I was diagnosed mum has hardly left my side. She always checks on me to see if I'm okay. Which I'm grateful for.

"And sweetie, I'm going to your favourite cafe for lunch, would you like to come?" My eyes shot open. Maybe the blue haired boy is there. I have an excuse to see Joshua again.

"Yeah sure, just let me get up and changed".

I quickly had a shower, and put on a pair of jeans and a hoodie. After a while of having cancer, you get over trying to look good. You just want to get through the day.

Mum was standing at the edge of the kitchen bench waiting for me. She gave me a nod and helped me out the front door. Getting in the car was always horrible. I had to make sure I had enough room to fit my oxygen tank and room for myself. That's why I never took public transport. I always feel like I'm taking up too much room.

We arrived at the cafe and mum held the door open for me. It wasn't as busy. There were only about five people scattered around the dining area. I looked to my right to see Joshua cleaning a few tables. He picked up some dishes and took them out the back. Before appearing again to serve me and my mother.

"How may I help you?" He smiled at my mum. Then looked at me.

"Sweetie what did you want?" Mum asked while looking at the menu board.

"I'll just get a salad roll and a cappuccino" Joshua looked down at the register and typed in my order.

"One sugar?" He asked me, he smiled again that made him look so irresistible. I nodded and he looked at my mum.

"I would like your soup of the day and a latte thank you" I watched him stare at the register, typing in mum's order before looking up again.

"That's a total of $19.75" My mum handed him $20 and told him to keep the change. She grabbed our number and headed over to one of the booths.

"That boy was cute" Mum said with a smirk on her face.

"Mum really, don't start embarrassing me cause I'm your only child"

"You like him I can tell"

"Mum don't say anything, yes I think he's cute, but he wouldn't like me. I'm too much trouble"

"Sweetie, don't say that, if you actually put yourself out there something good will come"

She was right, but I was too awkward. I wouldn't be able to ask him. It took me enough courage to speak to him yesterday. Even though it felt so easy, I was so nervous after and I had no idea why. Did I like him? I won't lie he is really attractive, but I'm not good enough for him.

"Here you go ladies" Joshua's voice startled me a little. I was so far off with the fairies it took me a bit to comprehend what was going on. He lowered the plate with my salad roll in front of me and I looked up and smiled. He smiled back and turned to my mum to give her, her soup.

"I will brings your drinks over now" I watched him walk back into the kitchen then looked back at my roll.

"You like him" Mum had a huge smile on her face, she couldn't help it. I guess she'd never thought she would see her daughter checking someone out.

"Yeah I guess"

"A cappuccino with one sugar and a latte, enjoy your meals" I fought myself from watching him walk away so I concentrated on the salad roll in front of me.

It hit me later in the day. I had a thing for Joshua but I knew I could do nothing about it.