Dear Josh - Josh Dun FanFiction

- three -

4 am.

It was 4 am.

My chest was aching, I could hardly breathe.

I felt like I was going to die.

That's when the urge to vomit came.

I grabbed my bucket sitting next to my bed and did what I needed to do.

I called out to my parents but my voice was hoarse, my throat was sore. Every time I attempted to call out it felt like someone was scratching at my throat.

I was weak so I couldn't walk down to them, I was scared of falling.

I grabbed my phone and called my mum.

"Sweetie what's wrong?" She sounded scared.

"I-I need you" She hung up the phone and seconds later I heard her run up the hallway.

She took one look at me and began to cry. She ran over and sat on the bed next to me, trying to control her tears.

"Sometimes I wish I was the one who had to go through this, not you. You deserve to live you life, not be like this. Why is life so unfair to us?"

Once I felt a little better mum laid me on my side and told me she would sleep next to me just in case I needed her.

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I woke to the smell of bacon. Which I got up quickly since I was hungry. I slowly walked out to the kitchen to see my father cooking breakfast. Mum was still fast asleep beside me so I made sure I was quiet when I left the room. She was up for an hour after I called her so she needed to rest.

"How are you feeling this morning Em?" My dad said as he handed me a plate full of bacon and eggs on toast. He had put pepper on the eggs which had been my favourite since I was little. Dad always did it so I wanted to do the same.

" I guess I'm a little better. I'm still quite weak, but I'd like to go for a walk today" Dad looked at me and laughed.

"Mum told me about the cafe boy"

Mum what the fuck.

"Oh yeah, nah I was going to go up the trail at the end of the street, it's got pretty flowers down there and I wanted to pick some so I could put them on my desk since mum bought me that vase that I never use."

Whenever dad made breakfast I always knew it would be a good day. I have only started eating properly again. I always force myself to eat something solid so my parents are happy. Because they love seeing their daughter look a little more healthier.

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Once I was dressed I headed towards the walking trail not far from our home. The sides of the paths were lined with eucalyptus and wattle trees. And there were occasional bushes of flowers with a small creek behind them. Not far up was my favourite spot. It was a small eating area that had the bushes of flowers lined around the outside, hiding the little creek. There were butterflies flying around my head. It reminded me of a part of a fairytale where the princess had escaped to have time to herself. Or when she realised it wasn't the life she wanted. Then a little butterfly flew in front of me so I held my finger out and he landed at the tip.

"So beautiful aren't they" the voice startled me. As usual, you can make me jump so easily. I looked up to see where the voice had came from to see Joshua standing there.
Yeah of course you come now. I look like I just rolled out of bed.

"I love this place it's so magical to me, I come here a lot when I'm not working" he says as he sits on the seat next to me. Staring at the butterfly still sitting on my finger.

"I come here a lot too, normally just to get out of the house"

"Can I ask you something?" I looked at him and he looked so beautiful up so close. He wasn't in his work uniform, which is ho he looked whenever I saw him. But he was just wearing jeans and a black ripped shirt. Anything he seemed to wear looked so good on him.

"Yeah sure, ask away"

"I don't want to sound rude, or like I'm being too nosy, but what happened to you? Why do you carry that around?" He wants to know my medical story, seems like the only story people like hearing from me.

"Oh well a few months ago, I was with my friends in Queensland for a holiday, my friend noticed I had a mole on my back. Turns out it was a stage three melanoma. It was removed and they told me I was fine. I was not fine, it had already spread to my lungs and I could do nothing about it. It got so bad that I taught myself to not laugh so I wouldn't be in pain, I wasn't able to walk because I'd tire out so quickly. They fitted me with a breathing tube to supply me with the oxygen that my body failed to get itself. Because of that,   I pull this oxygen tank around" Joshua just stared at me, it was like he couldn't find the right thing to say. He looked my hand and noticed the butterfly had gone, then looked at me again.

"I'm sorry, I just don't know what to say"

"You don't have to say anything, you don't sound like you come from here, where are you from?" I wanted to change the subject, I hated talking about myself. I felt stuck up every time I did.

"I lived in Ohio but I moved to Melbourne a few years ago because my mum met a guy that she later on married. I do really enjoy it here, I don't see myself moving back anytime soon".

We spoke for hours about our childhood and our future plans. He was so much more beautiful than I thought. We exchanged numbers and both went our separate ways.

It was an afternoon that I won't stop thinking about  for a while now.