Dear Josh - Josh Dun FanFiction

eight

It didn't take me long until I needed to throw up. I could feel it coming up my throat. Nurse Barkley was sitting on a chair at the end of the bed. I could hardly speak. Joshua was sitting in a chair right next to my bed staring at the blank screen of his phone. I moved slightly which got his attention and he looked at me worried.

"Emma are you okay?" I shook my head and I attempted to signal that I needed to throw up. He reached for one of the bags beside my bed and held it in front of my face with his other hand on my back. I'd never seen someone register and move so quickly. As soon as it all came up my dad and Natalie jumped up. She ran to my side and coaxed me to bring as much as I could up. My vision was blurry because I couldn't stop crying. I was in so much pain. I couldn't stop bringing stuff up even when there was nothing left. My stomach was aching and my muscles were tired. I still had a few hours to go. And they still had to make sure I was ready for discharge before I could leave here. I hate cancer. I would rather die than be in this pain.

Joshua hugged me and told me I was being brave. I always believed crying was weak and the act of a coward. But in situations like this, apparently it's an act of bravery, I don't know anymore. Nothing is the same. It's like a parallel universe. The pain in my chest and stomach were easing. I had a stitch in my side which felt like a knot that I couldn't undo.

"There's only an hour and a half left Emma, you are very strong. Sometimes closing your eyes and picturing yourself in a place that makes you happy might help distract you" Joshua said as he held my hand.

"The flower picnic area" I said as I groaned again. I had nothing left to throw up but I could feel it climbing my throat, I reached for the empty bag by my side and leant forward. Natalie was at one side rubbing my back and calming me down. I was shaking, I was so weak. I was used to not feeling this way but this time it was worse. Joshua started describing the place I had told him. But it only made me cry. I couldn't think of something like that when I was sitting in a hospital bed throwing up nothing with pain filling my entire body.

"Joshua it's not working" I tried getting the words out as I sobbed. He was quick to react and apologised. He sat silent and put his hand on my shoulder. I laid back into the pillow and pain filled my chest. Natalie was writing before she left the room. Joshua picked up the bag and threw it in the bin before returning to sit down by my side and held my hand.

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"All done for today Miss Peterson" Dr Downton said quite enthusiastically.
"Are you able to walk? I can get a wheelchair if you don't feel capable"
"I feel too weak, I don't think I can walk" Patrick smiled and pulled the folded up wheelchair out of the cupboard in my room. Joshua was getting my bag packed up while dad sat in the corner. I found it sad that Joshua was more interested today. He sat by my side and supported me all day while dad sat in the corner on his phone. I guess seeing this daughter this way wasn't something he ever dreamed of so it might be too much for him.

Dr Downton helped me transfer from the bed to the wheelchair and Joshua took over to wheel me out of the ward. I signed a few things of paper for my discharge before being able to leave. Patrick followed us out to help me get in the car and take the wheelchair back.

"Make sure you maintain your fluids and only eat if you can, don't force yourself as your body is weak my dear"

"We will make sure she looks after herself doctor, thank you for today" I was stunned. I had hardly heard my dads voice all day. Patrick helped my into the car and then we left. Joshua sat in the back seat with me and let me fall asleep on his shoulder.