b r e a t h e // phan

0.1

Present
•phil•

Ever since that day in choir class, I kept that promise to Mrs. Ryn. I wanted to, anyway. I want to keep that promise forever.

It's not exactly that I want to be immortal, but it's not that I want to die either.

Immortality is a nasty thing. Anyone who lives forever has to watch their family and relatives grow old and die, then hope to find someone else afterward to get them through it. The process would just repeat itself.

Death is also a pretty nasty thing. I mean, it's death. I don't think I really need to explain.

But I have more problems with immortality than I do death. So, I guess you could say, in a way, I prefer death over life.

That doesn't mean I want to die.

•

"Philip, do you know the answer to question thirteen?"

I jumped as I heard my name, looking around and registering in my mind what was going on. I realized I had been called on, but I had no idea what for.

My maths teacher, Mr. Quincey, shook his head in disapproval before stating, "Stop zoning out and getting in your own world. Pay attention." Mr. Quincey turned back to the board before writing again.

Some students in front of me giggled and turned to look at me. It's not unknown of me to be distracted during class, it's basically everyday I'm called out on it. My name may as well be, "Phil Are-You-Paying-Attention Lester."

"Is Philip wanting to be with his anime friends?" A student, PJ Liguori, snorted, making some other kids snicker.

One by one, the students quietly and slyly made remarks about me and my interests, each one earning a laugh before everyone tuned back to the lesson being taught.

This was an everyday-occurrence for me. It was wake up, go to school, be teased and picked on, go home, then sleep. But, I still had the same charisma and attitude 11-year-old Phil had; I just didn't notice them, or at least tried my very hardest not to.

I know it's just best not to fight fire with fire, so I'm just going to let it be. Unless it becomes a real problem to where the kids are assaulting me, I will let it be and ignore it. To me, everyone is my friend, and I am everyone's friend. I simply refuse to believe that nobody likes me. Somebody must like me.

It doesn't really bother me, anyway. I don't need many friends, especially when they're rude and they tease people. I'm fine with it.

After school that day, I started to run home everyday. I don't know why, but it just felt so energizing and gleeful when I ran back home. The strange part is, I normally hate running. But, when school ends, I know I finally get to go home, and it just makes me so happy that I don't care whether my whole body hurt afterward, or if I had a hard time breathing right while running.

But, today, for some reason, my whole body hurt more than usual, especially in my ribs. Normally, I don't stop running until I run the seven blocks all the way home, but today I stopped three times to sit down. I was bending over, my hands on my knees, coughing a dry cough. I could hardly breathe, and I had to sit down for ten minutes to even feel decent.

By the time I got home, my ribs felt like they were going to explode, and my body felt like it was going to snap in half.

Surely I couldn't have gotten really out of shape. I've been running home for the past two weeks now. It doesn't make sense how it is affecting me now in such a harsh way, I thought to myself.

I shrugged the thoughts off and walked in front of my home.

My home was actually very nice and a well-sized home, contrary to popular belief among the students in school. They believed my family was poor and had no time for me, and that's how I became a 'disgrace' by watching anime and supposedly being gay. That's another thing, they all believe I'm gay, though I've never even dated anyone in the first place let alone a guy.