b r e a t h e // phan

0.3

•phil•

I threw up the blood twice more that day. Once about thirty minutes after my mum left for work, the second time was on the way to the doctor's office; it was in the car in a grocery bag. Not pleasant, needless to say.

As we got into the doctor's office, my mum went to the receptionist's desk and I walked over to a chair in the waiting area, and looked around at the blue walls and red chairs surrounding the place.

Honestly, I wasn't even scared at the time. I have no idea why, considering I was coughing up blood. But maybe it was because I've never really had any serious sickness in my life. I think the worst I've gotten was a fever and the flu, maybe pneumonia, but nothing worth being hospitalized over. So, I felt there wasn't really anything to worry about.

Boy, was I wrong.

"Philip?" A nurse popped her head outside the door heading into the hallway and called for me. My mum and I walked into the hallway, and the nurse led us to the room.

About twenty minutes later of us sitting and waiting after I got my regular stuff checked, a doctor finally walked in and apologized hastily for the wait.

"So, Philip, I'm hearing some unpleasant things going on, eh?" The doctor asked, looking at me.

I nodded, and he questioned me, "how many times have you thrown up blood today?"

"Three," I answered.

He made a very empathetic face and nodded, writing it down.

He asked me multiple questions, which happened to somehow apply directly to me, such as my breathing problems, my weight, and my strength.

After about ten minutes of questions, he put his clipboard beside him and sighed, looking at me and then my mum.

"Mrs. Lester, unfortunately, we are going to have to take your son to the hospital for a night visit," the doctor told her, my eyes widening.

My mum was just as surprised as I was, "what? Why?"

The doctor huffed again. I wish he would stop huffing and puffing and just tell me what I have. "I'm going to admit Philip into the hospital for a night. I'm afraid he's going to have to have a CAT scan."

"Why?" My mum pressed on again, as if the reason wasn't obvious.

"I'm still not sure on this, but I'm afraid that your son has common symptoms of lung cancer," the doctor stated, looking between me and my mum.

My mum covered her mouth, widening her eyes. I gasped lightly but mainly stayed still, too shocked to say anything.

Being scared was an understatement. I was petrified. I mean, it's a disease that has no real cure. However, as I looked over to my mother and her terrified, palling face, I knew I had to brave even though the whole situation only affected me in the long run.

The doctor told us he'd call a certain hospital and that we needed to go home and I needed to pack for a long, unplanned overnight stay at the cancer hospital, which I already dreaded the sound of it.

•

"Hello?" I answered my phone that night around ten o'clock from my hospital bed. I'd already done my CAT scan, and as far as I saw, it went fine. Then again, I wasn't the expert. I had no idea how it really went.

"Philip? How did everything go?" My mother asked, hurriedly rushing out her words. She had to work, so she wasn't able to stay with me throughout the night.

"Fine, I guess. I'm not getting my results until tomorrow, though," I shrugged, picking at the frayed hem of my Nyan Cat pajama shirt. My eyes glanced to the IV needle sticking in my hand, then to my shirt again.

My mum's voice was crackly through the phone, as if she had been crying. "Alright, honey. I wanted to check in on you, make sure everything was okay. I'll be there tomorrow morning, okay?"

I agreed, before telling her that I love her and I hung up hastily. I'm honestly very drained, only because I'm not sure what is to come. What will become of me if, God forbid, I had lung cancer. Will I die? Will I become just a thing of the past to anyone who knew me?

My head started to spin, and my heart started beating faster, and it got slightly harder to breathe. I was falling into a phase I shouldn't be in right now; what I need to do is calm down, and don't worry until the problem comes to hand. Then, I'll find a silver lining in the situation. But, I was still petrified of what was to come. Because what I didn't know, was the one thing I would've wanted to know years before then.

•••
Holy crapperdoodles that update took forever and it's super duper late I'm sorry

You guys are gonna hate me this next chapter lolololololol

-kay xx