Into The Woods - Harry Styles

22.

It's been four days since my kiss with Harry. We have honestly avoided each other. There's this whole new wall of awkwardness and vulnerability between us. I've tried to convince myself it never happened, but the voice inside my head likes to remind me otherwise.

I haven't felt as bad as I thought I would. Maybe regret just hasn't set in yet. I know my heart belongs to Daniel and every fiber in my body loves him, yet I don't feel a pang of guilt for sharing a kiss with Harry. The thought of not feeling bad makes me feel worse about not regretting it.

I've spent my days wandering around camp with Mathias by my side most of the time. I'm glad I have a friend here, I just wish I could tell him what happened with Harry so maybe talking about it will help me understand this strange feeling. I am just not for sure how he will react.

"Have you ever been in love? Like, completely and utterly in love with a person?" I begin to ask, Mathias. I take a seat on the ground, leaning back on my elbows.

"I don't know about being completely and utterly in love with someone, but I have had a few hardcore crushes on a couple of the village girls." He starts explaining, sitting down as well. "Why do you ask?" He wonders, looking over at me.

I take a deep breath, questioning myself if I really want to tell him or not. Maybe he won't judge me too hard. "I kissed Harry..." I whisper, looking down in embarrassment, shielding my face away from his cruel words that I know will leave his lips.

"Oh, so you cheated on your fiancée and now you want me to tell you that you aren't a terrible person?" I begin to shake my head, knowing that's not why I told him. I wanted his advice on how to handle this and why I am feeling this way about it.

"That is so far from the reason, kind of. I just need to know why I don't feel guilty for kissing him when I am engaged to another man that I love very dearly." I quickly explain myself, not wanting to hear the words come out of my mouth again. He laughs, shaking his head at me.

"Well, obviously you like him." When the words leave his mouth I am completely startled. There's no way I like Harry, I can barely tolerate him. I only kissed him because I was in a bad place and needed comforting... Right? I shouldn't have to convince myself.

"I do not like Harry. I love Daniel. I was just in bad place." I push my hair behind my ear, turning my face away from Mathias. He begins to chuckle and says,

"Are you trying to convince me that, or yourself? Because to me it sounds like you're attempting to convince yourself." I put my head in my hands and scream out, frustrated at how confused I am. I know I don't love Harry.

"See, that's exactly what love does to you too." He points at my reaction and I just want to chuck a stick at him. Mathias may be my friend here, but he can definitely get on one's nerves if you stay around him long enough. I just need to continue to stay away from Harry and focus on Daniel's and I's future together.

"Okay, asking you for advice was a bad choice. I think I'll just pretend like it never happened and move on with my life. That's easy enough." I say to myself, knowing I can do this.

"There you go trying to convince yourself again." He laughs and this time I grab a rock from the ground and throw it in his direction, hitting him right in the jaw. He deserved that.

"Hey! That's not very royal like, your highness." I roll my eyes and get up from my sitting position. I fix my worn out dress, knowing that I need to find something different to wear since the fabric on this dress looks like a ripped rag. If only my mother could see me.

"Well, if you don't mind I think I'm going to head back to Harry's hut and sleep while he's out doing stuff. Hopefully we won't have a run in." I say just as I hear leaves crunching. I turn around to the sound of someone's voice.